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We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life, not life to years.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Life
Added
Paradox
Learned
Living
Years
Make

More quotes by George Carlin

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To me, smoking pot meant sitting with a newspaper on my legs, rolling the seeds down, pulling the twigs out and finally producing a perfectly cylindrical, absolutely wonderful joint that you either locked at both ends or pinched off, or pinched at one end and left open at the other.
George Carlin
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I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
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Nothing rectifies out-of-control market failures like a healthy dose of government intervention and mountains of bureaucracy.
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Most of the time people feel okay. Probably it's because at the moment they're not actually dying.
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Know my feelings about traffic laws? Cop didn't see it? I didn't do it.
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Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
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When I hear a person talking about political solutions, I know I am not listening to a serious person.
George Carlin
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Nothing you see on the Internet is mine unless it comes from one of my albums, books, HBO specials, or appeared on my website.
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Boxing is a more sophisticated form of hockey.
George Carlin
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The secret of success is doing something you love, doing it well and being recognized for it
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When you think about it, attention-deficit order makes a lot of sense. In this country there isn't a lot worth paying attention to.
George Carlin
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I think there's a little more attention to human needs than to property rights. But I don't think much of political activism. It's so shortsighted. Most people are interested in their own personal comfort. I've said that about environmentalists. I think they care about bike paths and places to park their Volvos, not the planet as an abstraction.
George Carlin
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What exactly is 'viewer discretion'? If viewers had discretion, most television shows would not be on the air.
George Carlin
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Flowers are one of the few things we buy, bring home, watch die, and we don't ask for our money back.
George Carlin
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I find that an entertainer is quite content to sit still, and I think an artist always has a little motion, always going somewhere. May not know where it is, but there is some sort of unnamed destination. There is some pulling, some movement. So I just found myself in that category according to my own analysis.
George Carlin
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I was once dancing with a woman who told me she had a yeast infection so I told her to bake me some bread.
George Carlin
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I'm 60 years of age. That's 16 Celsius.
George Carlin
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All music is the blues. All of it.
George Carlin
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To my surprise, my marijuana use has been tapering off steadily.
George Carlin
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I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here is one I would suggest: Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.
George Carlin