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The secret of success is doing something you love, doing it well and being recognized for it

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Love
Recognized
Secret
Success
Wells
Well
Something

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Beethoven was so hard of hearing, he thought he was a painter.
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When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. It will not be with jack-boots. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. Germany lost the Second World War. Fascism won it. Believe me, my friend.
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Personally, emotionally, I'd rather divorce myself from the world than face the heartbreak of partial success. Because partial success implies overwhelming failure.
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Comedy is a socially acceptable form of hostility and aggression. That is what comics do, stand the world upside down.
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War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle class and lower class young men off to die. It always has been.
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Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
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Hallucinogens are a value changer...like it or not, it changes your values, it opens up windows (doors of perception.)
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Religion is sort of like a lift in your shoes. If it makes you feel better, fine. Just don't ask me to wear your shoes.
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Being a Dodgers fan led to my first Air Force court-martial, but that's another story.
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The Class Clown album was done totally sober. I'd realized what a hell I'd made for myself and I cleaned up completely for three months. You can hear the clarity of my thinking and of my speech on that album.
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People say life begins at conception, I say life began about a billion years ago and it's a continuous process.
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There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.
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Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
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When I first heard the song Don't worry - be happy I realized it was exactly the kind of mindless philosophy that Americans would respond to. It would make a great national anthem along with Me first.
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You know who would make an interesting murder-suicide? Madeline Albright and Yanni.
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Grass probably helped me as much as it hurt me. Especially as a performer.
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Nothing you see on the Internet is mine unless it comes from one of my albums, books, HBO specials, or appeared on my website.
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Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
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I, myself, have killed six people. All random, all undetected, no way to trace them to me. And, let me tell you, there's nothin' like it. It's a great feeling. Yeah, I know, you're thinking. 'Aw, he's a comedian. He's just sayin' that stuff.' Good. That's exactly what I want you to think.
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Life is a zero sum game.
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