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There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who cannot.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Cannot
Kind
People
Andromeda
Bumper
Count
Mathematical
Kinds
Three

More quotes by George Carlin

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Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies, insecticided grain, For strip-mined mountain's majesty above the asphalt plain. America, America, man sheds his waste on thee, And hides the pines with billboard signs, from sea to oily sea.
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Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
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People always tell me Have a nice day. Well what if I don't want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
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Being a Dodgers fan led to my first Air Force court-martial, but that's another story.
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All music is the blues. All of it.
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I went to George Washington High School for six months before my 16th birthday, when I could legally quit. That was an even worse experience than the Catholic schools. I mean, they were still teaching fractions. But mostly, I played hooky.
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Every person you look at, you can see the universe in their eyes, if you're really looking
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I think we’re part of a greater wisdom that we will ever understand a higher order, call it what you want. Know what I call it? The Big Electron. It doesn’t punish, it doesn’t reward, it doesn’t judge at all. It just is.
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What occurs as you age is an accumulation of information, data, knowledge, and what I'm going to call the matrix of the mind. There's just a rich, textured, field of information and impressions that have been all networked by the brain.
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In terms of coke, the only money I ever thought about was that dollar bill I had stuck up my nose.
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If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know? If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words? Why is 'phonics' not spelled the way it sounds? How come abbreviated is such a long word?
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The next time a prostitute solicits your business, ask for the clergyman's rate.
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The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
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What year did Jesus think it was?
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We spend the early years feeding our brains with information and the latter half trying not to think about it all.
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Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky.
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I recently bought a book of free verse. For twelve dollars.
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It's difficult enough for a young person to put his soul on the line in front of a lot of drunken people without having that hanging over his head, too.
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Hitler never bothered with restaurant reservations he just dropped by. And somehow they always found him a table.
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The surgeon general warned today that saliva causes stomach cancer. But apparently only when swallowed in small amounts over a long period of time.
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