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We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Possession
Values
Multiplied
Possessions
Reduced
Paradox
More quotes by George Carlin
It's legal for men to be floorwalkers and illegal for women to be streetwalkers.
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And, of course, the funniest food: kumquats. I don't even bring them home anymore. I sit there laughing and they go to waste.
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Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
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How do you write zero in Roman numerals?
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The more syllables a euphemism has, the further divorced from reality it is.
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Thall shall keep thy religion to thy selves.
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Sun worship is fairly simple. There's no mystery, no miracles, no pageantry, no one asks for money, there are no songs to learn, and we don't have a special building where we all gather once a week to pare compare clothing.
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You never see a smiling runner.
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The next time a prostitute solicits your business, ask for the clergyman's rate.
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I don't have hobbies hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free.
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I couldn't commit suicide if my life depended on it.
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Flowers are one of the few things we buy, bring home, watch die, and we don't ask for our money back.
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Dogs lead a nice life. You never see a dog with a wristwatch.
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Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways? Just to be silly!
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Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
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The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. God has a three-day weekend.
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I'm sure Hitler was great with his family.
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Property is theft. Nobody owns anything. When you die, it all stays here.
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One philosopher has rightly said that property is theft. But I'd like to use my future ownership of property to give something back.
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The sicker you get, the harder it is to remember if you took your medicine.
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