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We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Paradox
Possession
Values
Multiplied
Possessions
Reduced
More quotes by George Carlin
hard work is a misleading term. physical effort & long hours do not constitute hard work. hard work is when someone pays you to do something you'd rather not be doing. anytime you'd rather be doing something other than the thing you're doing...you're doing hard work.
George Carlin
Every time you use the phrase all my life it has a different meaning.
George Carlin
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
George Carlin
So far, this is the oldest I've been.
George Carlin
You know who would make an interesting murder-suicide? Madeline Albright and Yanni.
George Carlin
I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond!
George Carlin
The word bipartisan usually means some larger-than-usual deception is being carried out.
George Carlin
Broadway isn't a very big career move. There's no money in it and it doesn't mean anything to your career. It's just a nice little jewel in the crown.
George Carlin
And now gay people want to get married... Haven't they suffered enough?
George Carlin
What do dogs do on their day off? Can't lie around – that's their job!
George Carlin
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
George Carlin
I say if you're going to go for the Angel bullshit you might as well go for the Zombie package as well.
George Carlin
Every person you look at, you can see the universe in their eyes, if you're really looking
George Carlin
You show me something that doesn't cause cancer, and I'll show you something that isn't on the market yet.
George Carlin
No one is ever more him/herself than when they really laugh. Their defenses are down. It's very Zen-like, that moment. They are completely open.
George Carlin
As powerful as anyone may claim God to be, somehow he always needs money.
George Carlin
There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who cannot.
George Carlin
If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.
George Carlin
Property is theft. Nobody owns anything. When you die, it all stays here.
George Carlin
Swimming is not a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That's just common sense!
George Carlin
