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Surround yourself with what you love.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Love
Keepsakes
Surround

More quotes by George Carlin

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Children are not our future, and I can prove it with my usual, flawless logic. Children can't be our future, because by the time the future arrives, they won't be children anymore, so blow me!
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Rhetoric paints with a broad brush.
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Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.
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When you look at the average American you realize there's nothing nature enjoys more than a good joke.
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The rebellious mood of the country during those [60th] years allowed me to plug right back into my old hatreds. I could scream and holler, as I did on the albums, against religion, government, big business - all those assholes and their values. That hatred was very real.
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Fussy eater is a euphemism for big pain in the ass.
George Carlin
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Picture your grandmother in Hell, baking pies... without an oven.
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Hey! Who stole my collection of used bandages?! And they also got away with my nude pictures of Ernest Borgnine!
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Medical researchers have discovered a new disease that has no symptoms. It is impossible to detect, and there is no known cure. Fortunately, no cases have been reported thus far.
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Before they give you a lethal injection, they swab your arm with alcohol. It's true. Well, they don't want you to get an infection, and you can see their point. They don't want some guy go to hell and be sick.
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There was about a two-year period at the end of the '60s, when I realized I was in the wrong place and entertaining the wrong people with the wrong material and that I was not being true to myself. I went through a metamorphosis into something more authentic for me, a more authentic stage voice and writing voice.
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When I first heard the song Don't worry - be happy I realized it was exactly the kind of mindless philosophy that Americans would respond to. It would make a great national anthem along with Me first.
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Every person you look at, you can see the universe in their eyes, if you're really looking
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What exactly is 'viewer discretion'? If viewers had discretion, most television shows would not be on the air.
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Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breaths away.
George Carlin
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We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
George Carlin
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If the shoe fits, buy another one just like it.
George Carlin
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No one is more himself than the moment when he's laughing at a joke. It's at those moments that people's defenses go down, and that's when you can slip in a good idea.
George Carlin
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Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
George Carlin
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Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
George Carlin