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So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Funny
Witty
Family
Humorous
Littles
Burning
Little
Soon
Enough
Dead
Rest
Fun
Hell
Sarcastic

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The New Testament is not new anymore' it's thousands of years old. It's time to start calling it the Less Old Testament.
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On Thanksgiving, you realize you're living in a modern world. Millions of turkeys baste themselves in millions of ovens that clean themselves.
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If a movie is described as a romantic comedy, you can usually find me next door playing pinball.
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More people have been killed in the name of God than for any other reason.
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People say life begins at conception, I say life began about a billion years ago and it's a continuous process.
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Soft rock music isn’t rock, and it ain’t music. It’s just soft.
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And speaking of sex, the Immaculate Conception does not mean Jesus was conceived in the absence of sex. It means Mary was conceived without Original Sin. That's all it has ever meant. And according to the tabloids, Mary is apparently the only one who can make such a claim. The Jesus thing is called virgin birth.
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I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
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If God had intended us not to masturbate, He would have made our arms shorter.
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People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think.
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If it requires a uniform, it's a worthless endeavor.
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You wouldn't know it, from some of the things I've said over the years, but I like people. I do. I like people, but I like them in short bursts. I don't like people for extended periods of time. I'm all right with them for a little while, but once you get up past around... a minute, minute and a half, I gotta get the fuck out of there.
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