Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
The planet isn't going anywhere. We are.
George Carlin
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Going
Anywhere
Planet
Planets
More quotes by George Carlin
I believe myself to be a worthwhile and inventive performer in my own right. [And] I want to be known for what I do best.
George Carlin
People who ask Can I ask you a question? Didn't really give me a choice, did ya there buddy?
George Carlin
Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers?
George Carlin
The women who line up at a comic's dressing-room door are not what you'd call your class groupies.
George Carlin
If you've got a cat and a leg, you've got a happy cat. If you've got a cat and two legs, you've got a party.
George Carlin
You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.
George Carlin
Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.
George Carlin
You can't fight City Hall, but you can goddamn sure blow it up.
George Carlin
Can placebos cause side effects? If so, are the side effects real?
George Carlin
Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.
George Carlin
How old are you? 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key.
George Carlin
Religion has what is EASILY the greatest bullshit story of all time.
George Carlin
I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
George Carlin
Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
George Carlin
Some people try to get out of jury duty by lying. You don't have to lie. Tell the judge the truth. Tell him you'd make a terrific juror because you can spot guilty people.
George Carlin
Religion is sort of like a lift in your shoes. If it makes you feel better, fine. Just don't ask me to wear your shoes.
George Carlin
Writing books isn't a drastic departure from writing for the stage.
George Carlin
I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here is one I would suggest: Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.
George Carlin
Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
George Carlin
It is said that Indians were sometimes named for the first thing they saw when they were born. Makes you wonder why there aren't more Indians named Hairy Pussy, doesn't it?
George Carlin
