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If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Pay
Come
Work
Terrific

More quotes by George Carlin

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Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
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Once the high priests and the traders took over, we were lost as a species.
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People say life begins at conception, I say life began about a billion years ago and it's a continuous process.
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If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him.
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The things that matter in this country have been reduced in choice, there are two political parties, there are a handful insurance companies, there are six or seven information centers.. but if you want a bagel there are 23 flavors. Because you have the illusion of choice!
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It is said that Indians were sometimes named for the first thing they saw when they were born. Makes you wonder why there aren't more Indians named Hairy Pussy, doesn't it?
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I was a stonehead for 30 years. I'd wake up in the morning and if I couldn't decide whether I wanted a joint or not, I'd smoke a joint to figure it out. And I stayed high all day long.
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Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
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The mayfly lives only one day. And sometimes it rains.
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I believe myself to be a worthwhile and inventive performer in my own right. [And] I want to be known for what I do best.
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Hooray for most things!
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I don't get all choked up about yellow ribbons and American flags. I see them as symbols, and I leave them to the symbol-minded.
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Property is theft. Nobody owns anything. When you die, it all stays here.
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Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
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I think everyone should treat one another in a Christian manner. I will not, however, be responsible for the consequences.
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It's difficult enough for a young person to put his soul on the line in front of a lot of drunken people without having that hanging over his head, too.
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When you visualize the recent past, do you see it as being somewhere over on the left?
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In Rome, the emperor sat in a special part of the Colosseum called the Caesarian Section.
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As far as I'm concerned, humans have not yet come up with a belief that's worth believing.
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Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.
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