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If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Work
Terrific
Pay
Come
More quotes by George Carlin
They say that instead of cursing the darkness, one should light a candle. Nothing is mentioned, though, about cursing a lack of candles.
George Carlin
I, myself, have killed six people. All random, all undetected, no way to trace them to me. And, let me tell you, there's nothin' like it. It's a great feeling. Yeah, I know, you're thinking. 'Aw, he's a comedian. He's just sayin' that stuff.' Good. That's exactly what I want you to think.
George Carlin
The secret of success is doing something you love, doing it well and being recognized for it
George Carlin
Military cemeteries around the world are packed with brainwashed dead soldiers who were convinced God was on their side. America prays for God to destroy our enemies. Our enemies pray for God to destroy us. Somebody's gonna be disappointed! Somebody's wasting their time! Could it be.. everyone?
George Carlin
As powerful as anyone may claim God to be, somehow he always needs money.
George Carlin
Ah, to be a bird. To fly the skies, sing my song, and best of all occasionally peck someone's eyes out.
George Carlin
Life is a series of dogs.
George Carlin
I definitely have a gift for language that is rhythmic and attractive to the ear, and I have interesting [verbal] imagery which I guess is a poetic touch.
George Carlin
One philosopher has rightly said that property is theft. But I'd like to use my future ownership of property to give something back.
George Carlin
So far, this is the oldest I've been.
George Carlin
You're all going to die. I hate to remind you, but it is on your schedule. It probably won't happen when you'd like generally, it's an inconvenience.
George Carlin
In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.
George Carlin
No one who has had Taps played for them has ever been able to hear it.
George Carlin
Why should it be illegal to sell something that's perfectly legal to give away?
George Carlin
A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
George Carlin
I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
George Carlin
Your home is your refuge.
George Carlin
Besides the drugs and counterculture, I started talking about myself, which is the first thing you do when you are a writer.
George Carlin
You know who would make an interesting murder-suicide? Madeline Albright and Yanni.
George Carlin
If God didn't want you to masturbate, he would have given you short arms.
George Carlin
