Quote

They're only words. You can't be afraid of words that speak the truth, even if it's an unpleasant truth.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Afraid
Words
Speak
Truth
Even
Unpleasant

More quotes by George Carlin

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There's a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
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We [americans] are not a freedom-loving people in the beautiful, spiritual sense. We have an inspiring Constitution, but we're a hardhearted people.
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I hope I'm beginning a new cycle of energy and creativity. If so, it'll really be my third career. The first was as a straight comic in the Sixties. The second was as a counterculture performer in the Seventies. The third will be...well, that's for others to judge.
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As far as I'm concerned, humans have not yet come up with a belief that's worth believing.
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Hooray for most things!
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If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.
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You show me something that doesn't cause cancer, and I'll show you something that isn't on the market yet.
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People always tell me Have a nice day. Well what if I don't want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
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I don't consider myself a cynic. I think of myself as a skeptic and a realist. But I understand the word cynic has more than one meaning, and I see how I could be seen as cynical. George, you're cynical. Well, you know, they say if you scratch a cynic you find a disappointed idealist. And perhaps the flame still flickers a little, you know
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Know my feelings about traffic laws? Cop didn't see it? I didn't do it.
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If you ask me, we could do with a little less motivation. - The people who are causing all the trouble seem highly motivated to me. - Serial killers, stock swindlers, drug dealers, Christian Republicans.
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There may or may not be atheists in foxholes, but I'm certain there are none in the Ku Klux Klan.
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And speaking of sex, the Immaculate Conception does not mean Jesus was conceived in the absence of sex. It means Mary was conceived without Original Sin. That's all it has ever meant. And according to the tabloids, Mary is apparently the only one who can make such a claim. The Jesus thing is called virgin birth.
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I'm 63 now. But that's just 17 Celsius.
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My mother and her plans for my future. She had it all worked out. I would attend a nice college, then get a job in advertising. You'll be one of those smart-looking fellows in their Madison Avenue suits. And I rebelled against [my mother] and her values and her plans for my future at every opportunity.
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Comedy is a socially acceptable form of hostility and aggression. That is what comics do, stand the world upside down.
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Things I wonder about the FBI's list of the Ten Most Wanted criminals: When they catch a guy and he comes off the list, does number eleven automatically move up? And does he see it as a promotion? Does he call his criminal friends and say, I made it, Bruno. I'm finally on the list?
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All messages from Satan are played forward and are in standard American English.
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Without the laughs, the audience wouldn't be there at all, so in that sense, yes, I am a comedian.
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In Hawaii they say, aloha. That's a nice one, It means both hello and good-bye Which just goes to show, if you spend enough time in the sun you don't know whether you're coming or going.
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