Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
They're only words. You can't be afraid of words that speak the truth, even if it's an unpleasant truth.
George Carlin
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Unpleasant
Afraid
Words
Speak
Truth
Even
More quotes by George Carlin
If you ask me, we could do with a little less motivation. - The people who are causing all the trouble seem highly motivated to me. - Serial killers, stock swindlers, drug dealers, Christian Republicans.
George Carlin
The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
George Carlin
Hey! Who stole my collection of used bandages?! And they also got away with my nude pictures of Ernest Borgnine!
George Carlin
When it comes to bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims: religion... Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do.
George Carlin
When someone is impatient and says, 'I haven't got all day,' I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?
George Carlin
The more complicated the order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a 'decaf grandee, half soy, half lowfat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet,' ooooh, you're a huge asshole.
George Carlin
A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
George Carlin
But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
George Carlin
Catholics are against abortions. Catholics are against homosexuals. But, I can't think of anyone who has less abortions than homosexuals!
George Carlin
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
George Carlin
The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
George Carlin
Shopping and buying and getting and having comprise the Great American Addiction. No one is immune. When the underclass riots in this country they don't kill policemen and politicians, they steal merchandise. How embarrassing.
George Carlin
Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.
George Carlin
A dog has no shame. If he can do it, you can watch.
George Carlin
Swimming is not a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That's just common sense!
George Carlin
The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. God has a three-day weekend.
George Carlin
Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.
George Carlin
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
George Carlin
Here's a phrase that apparently the airlines simply made up: near miss. They say that if 2 planes almost collide, it's a near miss. Bullshit, my friend. It's a near hit! A collision is a near miss. [WHAM! CRUNCH!] Look, they nearly missed! Yes, but not quite.
George Carlin
Your home is your refuge.
George Carlin
