Quote

When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. It will not be with jack-boots. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. Germany lost the Second World War. Fascism won it. Believe me, my friend.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
World
Second
Sneakers
Philosophy
Fascism
War
Jack
Black
Boots
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Lost
Brown
America
Germany
Smiley
Believe
Friend
Nike

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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
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The rebellious mood of the country during those [60th] years allowed me to plug right back into my old hatreds. I could scream and holler, as I did on the albums, against religion, government, big business - all those assholes and their values. That hatred was very real.
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People have material needs, but you don't need a deodorant for every different day of the week. You don't need four hundred varieties of mustard. This is what I call too many choices. There are too many choices in America.
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I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
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There was a built-in audience for the rebel in me that had been all along not expressing himself.
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No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee I have no interest in any of it. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.
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Why should it be illegal to sell something that's perfectly legal to give away?
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If you have a legal problem, guess how you determine whether or not you need a lawyer. You see a lawyer. Isn't that weird?
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When people asked me, Do you get high to go onstage? I could never understand the question. I mean, I'd been high since eight that morning. Going onstage had nothing to do with it.
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I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no I in team.' What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. But there is an I in independence, individuality and integrity.
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Bowling is not a sport because you have to rent the shoes. When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? This title offends all three major religions, and even vegetarians!
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Tits always look better in a pink sweater.
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You never see a smiling runner.
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We created god in our own image and likeness!
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You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
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I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here is one I would suggest: Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.
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Flowers are one of the few things we buy, bring home, watch die, and we don't ask for our money back.
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I have this real moron thing I do? It's called thinking.
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In the doggie dictionary, under bow wow it says, See arf arf.
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Golf is an arrogant, elitist game that takes up entirely too much space in this country.
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