Quote

When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. It will not be with jack-boots. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. Germany lost the Second World War. Fascism won it. Believe me, my friend.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Believe
Friend
Nike
World
Second
Sneakers
Philosophy
Fascism
War
Jack
Black
Boots
Comes
Shirts
Lost
Brown
America
Germany
Smiley

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Your home is your refuge.
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We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
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I'm in favor of personal growth as long as it doesn't include malignant tumors.
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One time. In 1965. August, for about an hour, I was both fine AND dandy at the same time. But nobody asked me how I was.
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Leftovers make you feel good twice. First, when you put it away, you feel thrifty and intelligent: 'I'm saving food!' Then a month later when blue hair is growing out of the ham, and you throw it away, you feel really intelligent: 'I'm saving my life!'
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I hope I'm beginning a new cycle of energy and creativity. If so, it'll really be my third career. The first was as a straight comic in the Sixties. The second was as a counterculture performer in the Seventies. The third will be...well, that's for others to judge.
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I finally accepted Jesus. not as my personal savior, but as a man I intend to borrow money from.
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If someone loves you and they leave and don't come back, it was never meant to be. If someone loves you and they leave and come back, set them on fire.
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What do dogs do on their day off? Can't lie around – that's their job!
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Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
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It's a keep your fingers crossed business, the entertainment business.
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My advice: Just keep movin' straight ahead. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place.
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Thall shall keep thy religion to thy selves.
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Bowling is not a sport because you have to rent the shoes. When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? This title offends all three major religions, and even vegetarians!
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Things I wonder about the FBI's list of the Ten Most Wanted criminals: When they catch a guy and he comes off the list, does number eleven automatically move up? And does he see it as a promotion? Does he call his criminal friends and say, I made it, Bruno. I'm finally on the list?
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If all our national holidays were observed on Wednesdays, we could wind up with nine-day weekends.
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Know my feelings about traffic laws? Cop didn't see it? I didn't do it.
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I think of myself as an entertainer: I'm a performing entertainer, I'm a stand-up comic. But there's an artist at work here, too. One who interprets his world through his own filter.
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Comedy is a socially acceptable form of hostility and aggression. That is what comics do, stand the world upside down.
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That invisible hand of Adam Smith seems to offer an extended middle finger to an awful lot of people.
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