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I'm 60 years of age. That's 16 Celsius.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Age
Funny
Years
Celsius
Birthday
Meaningful

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If God had intended us not to masturbate, He would have made our arms shorter.
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I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist.
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Religion is just mind control.
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Religion is a self-conferred intellectual decision it's not something you get at birth and is unchangeable. You're collusive with the religion when you accept it you have a choice.
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I never joined the Boy Scouts. I don't trust any organization that has a handbook.
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You show me a tropical fruit and I'll show you a cocksucker from Guatemala.
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I went to George Washington High School for six months before my 16th birthday, when I could legally quit. That was an even worse experience than the Catholic schools. I mean, they were still teaching fractions. But mostly, I played hooky.
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I believe myself to be a worthwhile and inventive performer in my own right. [And] I want to be known for what I do best.
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I believe you can joke about anything.
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I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond!
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Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
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The Class Clown album was done totally sober. I'd realized what a hell I'd made for myself and I cleaned up completely for three months. You can hear the clarity of my thinking and of my speech on that album.
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We get what we deserve. They are our elected officials.
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Shopping and buying and getting and having comprise the Great American Addiction. No one is immune. When the underclass riots in this country they don't kill policemen and politicians, they steal merchandise. How embarrassing.
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I recently bought a book of free verse. For twelve dollars.
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Writing is really wonderful art. A lot of this is discovery. A lot of things are lying around waiting to be discovered and that's our job as writers is to just notice them and bring them to life.
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Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
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No one who has had Taps played for them has ever been able to hear it.
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I'm certainly a skeptic. I always quibble with people.
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What year did Jesus think it was?
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