Quote

Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life. Football begins in the fall, when everything's dying.

George Carlin

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Everything
Season
Life
Begins
Seasons
Baseball
Spring
Dying
Football
Fall

More quotes by George Carlin

Image
It is impossible for an abortion clinic to have a waiting list of more than nine months.
George Carlin
Image
The dividend I get [from my compulsion] is the freedom to be totally disorderly in my dreamworld.
George Carlin
Image
The mayfly lives only one day. And sometimes it rains.
George Carlin
Image
Self-expression is a hallmark of an artist, of art, to get something off one's chest, to sing one's song. So that element is present in all art. It is the key to even standing up and saying, Hey, listen to me. Self-expression can be based on looking at the world and making observations about it.
George Carlin
Image
And now gay people want to get married... Haven't they suffered enough?
George Carlin
Image
The following statement is true. The previous statement is false.
George Carlin
Image
The phrase surgical strike might be more acceptable if it were common practice to perform surgery with high explosives.
George Carlin
Image
I think it keeps the child alive in me. There's a thrill when you steal something in plain view of other people.
George Carlin
Image
What year did Jesus think it was?
George Carlin
Image
The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind that Hitler was elected in a full, free democratic election
George Carlin
Image
Military cemeteries around the world are packed with brainwashed dead soldiers who were convinced God was on their side. America prays for God to destroy our enemies. Our enemies pray for God to destroy us. Somebody's gonna be disappointed! Somebody's wasting their time! Could it be.. everyone?
George Carlin
Image
One thing leads to another? Not always. Sometimes one thing leads to the same thing. Ask an addict.
George Carlin
Image
Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
George Carlin
Image
There are two types of people: One strives to control his environment, the other strives not to let his environment control him. I like to control my environment, because I feel if I have my physical space in order, then I'm free to dream.
George Carlin
Image
There are two types of people: One strives to control his environment, the other strives not to let his environment control him. I like to control my environment.
George Carlin
Image
Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.
George Carlin
Image
Running isn't a sport because anyone can do it. Anything we can all do can't be a sport. I can run, you can run. My mother can run, you don't see her on the cover of Sports Illustrated do you?
George Carlin
Image
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
George Carlin
Image
I say things that can be defined as prayers. But I don't pray to a power or ask an entity to intercede in the earthly scheme, because I don't believe that happens. But if I see a really unfortunate person in the street, I do pray, yes, though I suppose it's really more like a mantra to ease my own sorrow.
George Carlin
Image
What do dogs do on their day off? Can't lie around – that's their job!
George Carlin