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Why should it be illegal to sell something that's perfectly legal to give away?
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Away
Give
Giving
Something
Legal
Illegal
Perfectly
Sell
Sells
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We created god in our own image and likeness!
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When you visualize the recent past, do you see it as being somewhere over on the left?
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I'm sure Hitler was great with his family.
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It seems to me like a perversion of talent for an artist of any kind to further the corporate structure of America or the personal interests of the morons and thieves who run it.
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A lot of times when they catch a guy who killed twenty-seven people, they say, He was a loner. Well, of course he was a loner he killed everyone he came in contact with.
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We spend the early years feeding our brains with information and the latter half trying not to think about it all.
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If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
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Why don't they have waiters in waiting rooms?
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They say if you outlaw guns, only outlaws will have guns. Well, those are precisely the people who need them!
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By the next one [albom],Occupation: Foole, I was right back into the trip again. I'm more frantic, more breathless. You can hear how sick I am. If you want to see a cokehead, just look at the pictures on the Occupation: Foole album.
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Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight?
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Boxing is a more sophisticated form of hockey.
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So far, this is the oldest I've been.
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George Washington’s brother, Lawrence, was the Uncle of Our Country.
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I really haven't seen this many people in one place since they took group photographs of all the criminals and lawbreakers in the Ronald Reagan administration.
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Things I wonder about the FBI's list of the Ten Most Wanted criminals: When they catch a guy and he comes off the list, does number eleven automatically move up? And does he see it as a promotion? Does he call his criminal friends and say, I made it, Bruno. I'm finally on the list?
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I quit school in ninth grade, even though I was good at the studies. I knew I didn't need school for what I wanted.
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Anger is a handy term and words are tricky, as we know. What one man perceives as anger, another person - in my case the deliverer of material - is, Don't you see it, don't you see how badly you're doing? It's like shaking a child - which you're not supposed to do.
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I'm not collegial, I don't hang out. I'm soloist, I like my solitude, I don't really hang around with comedians.
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Sometimes a fireman will go to great strenuous lengths to save a raccoon that's stuck in a drainpipe and then go out on the weekend and kill several of them for amusement.
George Carlin
