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You show me a tropical fruit and I'll show you a cocksucker from Guatemala.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Guatemala
Tropical
Fruit
Show
Shows
More quotes by George Carlin
We think in language. We think in words. Language is the landscape of thought.
George Carlin
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
George Carlin
Every time you use the phrase all my life it has a different meaning.
George Carlin
I believe myself to be a worthwhile and inventive performer in my own right. [And] I want to be known for what I do best.
George Carlin
I gravitated toward being a funny guy. I liked the radio comedians. I lived in the Golden Age of radio, and the Golden Age of television came along when I was still in my early teens.
George Carlin
If God had intended us not to masturbate, He would have made our arms shorter.
George Carlin
It's harder to be funny from the position of power.
George Carlin
Singing is basically a form of pleasant, controlled screaming.
George Carlin
I should think it takes a fairly low intellect to draw pleasure from the following activity: hitting a ball with a crooked stick. and then walking after it! An then ..hitting it again!
George Carlin
I can remember staring at the orphanage and feeling envy.
George Carlin
One of the effects it [cocaine] had on my personality - my moods, my behaviors - was that it inhibited me a lot. It kind of took possibilities out of my world, and made the focus of things very narrow.
George Carlin
The base of evil in the world is religion of any kind
George Carlin
A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
George Carlin
George Washington’s brother, Lawrence, was the Uncle of Our Country.
George Carlin
To my surprise, my marijuana use has been tapering off steadily.
George Carlin
We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
George Carlin
All the wrong things for all the wrong reasons. Sometimes people just want to feel different. And so long as Third World peasants are poor they will send us drugs, and as long as we are empty we will ask for this little plant.
George Carlin
I've never seen a homeless guy with a bottle of Gatorade.
George Carlin
I, myself, have killed six people. All random, all undetected, no way to trace them to me. And, let me tell you, there's nothin' like it. It's a great feeling. Yeah, I know, you're thinking. 'Aw, he's a comedian. He's just sayin' that stuff.' Good. That's exactly what I want you to think.
George Carlin
Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.
George Carlin
