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You show me a tropical fruit and I'll show you a cocksucker from Guatemala.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Guatemala
Tropical
Fruit
Show
Shows

More quotes by George Carlin

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The status quo sucks.
George Carlin
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I think self-expression is present at all times, and whether or not you're talking about the outside world or your responses to it depends on the moment and the subject.
George Carlin
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No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee I have no interest in any of it. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.
George Carlin
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At 68 I'm every age I ever was. I always think of that. I'm not just 68. I'm also 55 and 21 and three. Oh especially three.
George Carlin
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That invisible hand of Adam Smith seems to offer an extended middle finger to an awful lot of people.
George Carlin
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To my surprise, my marijuana use has been tapering off steadily.
George Carlin
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When I hear a person talking about political solutions, I know I am not listening to a serious person.
George Carlin
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If the cops didn't see it, I didn't do it!
George Carlin
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There are battered husbands. Apparently this happens when the woman is real big, the man is very small, and they each drink a quart of whiskey a day.
George Carlin
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I've never been quarantined. But the more I look around the more I think it might not be a bad idea.
George Carlin
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The enjoyment has been diminishing. Now, there's no question that it's sort of fun to get high.
George Carlin
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Fussy eater is a euphemism for big pain in the ass.
George Carlin
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Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.
George Carlin
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Cancer research is a growth industry.
George Carlin
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One of the effects it [cocaine] had on my personality - my moods, my behaviors - was that it inhibited me a lot. It kind of took possibilities out of my world, and made the focus of things very narrow.
George Carlin
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When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I'm sure it made the work seem that much more urgent.
George Carlin
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Comedy is a socially acceptable form of hostility and aggression. That is what comics do, stand the world upside down.
George Carlin
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Religion is sort of like a lift in your shoes. If it makes you feel better, fine. Just don't ask me to wear your shoes.
George Carlin
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Grass probably helped me as much as it hurt me. Especially as a performer.
George Carlin
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I believe you can joke about anything.
George Carlin