Quote

We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing

George Carlin

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Different
Turkey
Something
Sarcasm
Years
Thanksgiving
Sarcastic
Stuffing
Instead
Swan
Year
Swans
Littles
Thankfulness
Little
Turkeys

More quotes by George Carlin

Image
I just love it when I hear a little commotion, someone leaving. When I see those doors in the back . . .
George Carlin
Image
Every day I break my own personal record for number of days I have been alive.
George Carlin
Image
Don Ho can sign autographs 3.4 times faster than Efrem Zimbalist Jr.
George Carlin
Image
But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
George Carlin
Image
I should think it takes a fairly low intellect to draw pleasure from the following activity: hitting a ball with a crooked stick. and then walking after it! An then ..hitting it again!
George Carlin
Image
There will be a rain dance Friday night, weather permitting!
George Carlin
Image
Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breaths away.
George Carlin
Image
I remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School and my mother would get drunk and try to make pancakes
George Carlin
Image
Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.
George Carlin
Image
Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.
George Carlin
Image
One of the effects it [cocaine] had on my personality - my moods, my behaviors - was that it inhibited me a lot. It kind of took possibilities out of my world, and made the focus of things very narrow.
George Carlin
Image
The mayfly lives only one day. And sometimes it rains.
George Carlin
Image
I believe you can joke about anything.
George Carlin
Image
The future will soon be a thing of the past.
George Carlin
Image
If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.
George Carlin
Image
I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
George Carlin
Image
If this is the best God can do, I'm not impressed.
George Carlin
Image
Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
George Carlin
Image
God bless the homicidal maniacs. They make life worthwhile.
George Carlin
Image
Tell people an invisible man in the sky created all things, they believe you. Tell them what you've painted is wet, they have to touch it to believe.
George Carlin