Quote

We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Instead
Swan
Year
Swans
Littles
Thankfulness
Turkeys
Little
Turkey
Different
Sarcasm
Something
Thanksgiving
Years
Sarcastic
Stuffing

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Once the high priests and the traders took over, we were lost as a species.
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George Washington’s brother, Lawrence, was the Uncle of Our Country.
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Most of the time people feel okay. Probably it's because at the moment they're not actually dying.
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The word bipartisan usually means some larger-than-usual deception is being carried out.
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I think tobacco and alcohol warnings are too general. They should be more to the point: 'People who smoke will eventually cough up small pieces of lung.'... And 'Warning!! Alcohol will turn you into the same jerk your father was.'
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There are two types of people: One strives to control his environment, the other strives not to let his environment control him. I like to control my environment, because I feel if I have my physical space in order, then I'm free to dream.
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The rebellious mood of the country during those [60th] years allowed me to plug right back into my old hatreds. I could scream and holler, as I did on the albums, against religion, government, big business - all those assholes and their values. That hatred was very real.
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Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backward.
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I recently bought a book of free verse. For twelve dollars.
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Put two things together which have never been put together before, and some schmuck will buy it.
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Catholic school gave me the tools to reject the very religion they wanted me to have. They taught me how to think for myself and to be independent.
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A lot of times when they catch a guy who killed twenty-seven people, they say, He was a loner. Well, of course he was a loner he killed everyone he came in contact with.
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