Quote

We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing

George Carlin

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Something
Sarcasm
Years
Thanksgiving
Sarcastic
Stuffing
Instead
Swan
Year
Swans
Littles
Thankfulness
Little
Turkeys
Different
Turkey

More quotes by George Carlin

Image
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
George Carlin
Image
When someone is impatient and says, 'I haven't got all day,' I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?
George Carlin
Image
People get all upset about torture, but when you get right down to it, it's really a pretty good way of finding out something a person doesn't want you to know.
George Carlin
Image
Religion is just mind control.
George Carlin
Image
Thall shall keep thy religion to thy selves.
George Carlin
Image
I sort of gave up on this whole human adventure a long time ago, divorced myself from it emotionally. It gives me an artistic detachment that I find valuable. I think the human race has squandered its gift, and I think this country has squandered its promise, for the sake of cell phones and Jet Skis.
George Carlin
Image
Grass probably helped me as much as it hurt me. Especially as a performer.
George Carlin
Image
The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
George Carlin
Image
There will be a rain dance Friday night, weather permitting!
George Carlin
Image
My father? My father left when I was quite young. Well actually, he was asked to leave. He had trouble metabolizing alcohol.
George Carlin
Image
We think in language. We think in words. Language is the landscape of thought.
George Carlin
Image
Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be.
George Carlin
Image
How old are you? 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key.
George Carlin
Image
Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
George Carlin
Image
Flowers are one of the few things we buy, bring home, watch die, and we don't ask for our money back.
George Carlin
Image
You're really spread out now, you've got stuff all over the WORLD! You've got stuff at home, stuff in storage, stuff in Honolulu, stuff in Maui, stuff in your pockets...supply lines are getting longer and harder to maintain.
George Carlin
Image
Sun worship is fairly simple. There's no mystery, no miracles, no pageantry, no one asks for money, there are no songs to learn, and we don't have a special building where we all gather once a week to pare compare clothing.
George Carlin
Image
Language always gives you away.
George Carlin
Image
Singing is basically a form of pleasant, controlled screaming.
George Carlin
Image
In baseball the object is to go home! And to be safe! - I hope I'll be safe at home!
George Carlin