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Your home is your refuge.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Refuge
Home

More quotes by George Carlin

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There are battered husbands. Apparently this happens when the woman is real big, the man is very small, and they each drink a quart of whiskey a day.
George Carlin
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If all our national holidays were observed on Wednesdays, we could wind up with nine-day weekends.
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If God had intended us not to masturbate, He would have made our arms shorter.
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Running isn't a sport because anyone can do it. Anything we can all do can't be a sport. I can run, you can run. My mother can run, you don't see her on the cover of Sports Illustrated do you?
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People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think.
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You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.
George Carlin
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If a movie is described as a romantic comedy, you can usually find me next door playing pinball.
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Why do they bother saying raw sewage? Do some people actually cook that stuff?
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I knew a transsexual guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink, and be Mary.
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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
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If the shoe fits, buy another one just like it.
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Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
George Carlin
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How can it be a spy satellite if they announce on television that it's a spy satellite?
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Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
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I couldn't commit suicide if my life depended on it.
George Carlin
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Don't confuse my point of view with cynicism. The real cynics are the ones who tell you that everything's gonna be all right.
George Carlin
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It is said that Indians were sometimes named for the first thing they saw when they were born. Makes you wonder why there aren't more Indians named Hairy Pussy, doesn't it?
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I went to George Washington High School for six months before my 16th birthday, when I could legally quit. That was an even worse experience than the Catholic schools. I mean, they were still teaching fractions. But mostly, I played hooky.
George Carlin
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I'm 63 now. But that's just 17 Celsius.
George Carlin
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Cancer research is a growth industry.
George Carlin