Quote

When you're born in this world you're given a ticket to the Freak Show. And when you're born in America, you're given a front row seat. And some of us get to sit there with notebooks.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
America
Seats
World
Genuine
Fronts
Notebooks
Front
Ticket
Show
Notebook
Born
Tickets
Given
Seat
Shows
Freak

More quotes by George Carlin

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I never take credit for anything, because it's mostly genetic to my way of thinking. Even the need to work hard with some genetic talent you're given - the need to go out and develop it, and push hard to bring it to people.
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Do you think Sammy Davis ate Junior Mints?
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I went to George Washington High School for six months before my 16th birthday, when I could legally quit. That was an even worse experience than the Catholic schools. I mean, they were still teaching fractions. But mostly, I played hooky.
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Tits always look better in a pink sweater.
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All the wrong things for all the wrong reasons. Sometimes people just want to feel different. And so long as Third World peasants are poor they will send us drugs, and as long as we are empty we will ask for this little plant.
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If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him.
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Children are not our future, and I can prove it with my usual, flawless logic. Children can't be our future, because by the time the future arrives, they won't be children anymore, so blow me!
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Religion is just mind control.
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Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
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A dog has no shame. If he can do it, you can watch.
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Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be.
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Dogs and cats get put to sleep hogs and cows get slaughtered.
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I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond!
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People get all upset about torture, but when you get right down to it, it's really a pretty good way of finding out something a person doesn't want you to know.
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Catholic school gave me the tools to reject the very religion they wanted me to have. They taught me how to think for myself and to be independent.
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People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
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I've never owned a telescope, but it's something I'm thinking of looking into.
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Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breaths away.
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You can't fight City Hall, but you can goddamn sure blow it up.
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The whole problem with the world today: private property. If no one owned anything, it would be a lot better. There's even an entire industry devoted to keeping an eye on other people's stuff. This is how stupid it's got. If you decide to get rid of a lot of your stuff, you can give it to a thrift shop or to Goodwill.
George Carlin