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Every person you look at, you can see the universe in their eyes, if you're really looking
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
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Genuine
Looks
Seeing
Every
Eyes
Really
Looking
People
Eye
Universe
More quotes by George Carlin
Praying is begging for an unseen deity to alter the laws of nature for someone admittedly unworthy.
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Christian Deodorant: Thou Shalt Not Smell
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I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no I in team.' What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. But there is an I in independence, individuality and integrity.
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When I hear a person talking about political solutions, I know I am not listening to a serious person.
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I just try to find targets I feel something about and express it my way.
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That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
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If you nail a tool shed closed, how do you put the hammer away?
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If this is the best God can do, I'm not impressed.
George Carlin
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
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When you think about it, 12:15 P.M. is actually 11:75 A.M.
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Dogs and cats get put to sleep hogs and cows get slaughtered.
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All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another
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Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
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I was a stonehead for 30 years. I'd wake up in the morning and if I couldn't decide whether I wanted a joint or not, I'd smoke a joint to figure it out. And I stayed high all day long.
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I call him Governor Bush because that's the only political office he's ever held legally in this country. I don't care where they hang his portrait, I don't care how big his library is. To me, he'll always be Governor Bush. I don't even capitalize his name when I type it anymore.
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I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
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My money buys me the freedom not to be a member of the corporate structure. And I certainly don't feel guilty or hypocritical about that. The way our economy is set up, if you don't want to be a corporate moron and you don't want to be enfeebled in the streets, you must earn enough to know that you'll never have to go to them for money.
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A crazy person doesn't really lose his mind. It just becomes something more entertaining.
George Carlin
I'll tell you a little secret about the Blues: it's not enough to know which notes to play, you have to know why they need to be played.
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I finally accepted Jesus. not as my personal savior, but as a man I intend to borrow money from.
George Carlin
