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Every person you look at, you can see the universe in their eyes, if you're really looking
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
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Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
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More quotes by George Carlin
Political discourse has been reduced to Where's the beef? Read my lips, and Make my day. Where are the assassins when we really need them?
George Carlin
People who own everything know how to relax a little and bend and exhale once in a while, but they're not going to let it get out of control.
George Carlin
Writing books isn't a drastic departure from writing for the stage.
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I, myself, have killed six people. All random, all undetected, no way to trace them to me. And, let me tell you, there's nothin' like it. It's a great feeling. Yeah, I know, you're thinking. 'Aw, he's a comedian. He's just sayin' that stuff.' Good. That's exactly what I want you to think.
George Carlin
When you think about it, 12:15 P.M. is actually 11:75 A.M.
George Carlin
The rebellious mood of the country during those [60th] years allowed me to plug right back into my old hatreds. I could scream and holler, as I did on the albums, against religion, government, big business - all those assholes and their values. That hatred was very real.
George Carlin
If God is all powerful, can He make a stone so big that He Himself can't lift it?
George Carlin
Everyone smiles in the same language.
George Carlin
Sun worship is fairly simple. There's no mystery, no miracles, no pageantry, no one asks for money, there are no songs to learn, and we don't have a special building where we all gather once a week to pare compare clothing.
George Carlin
The keys to America: The cross, the brew, the dollar, and the gun.
George Carlin
It's harder to be funny from the position of power.
George Carlin
I am not a complete vegetarian. I eat only animals that have died in their sleep.
George Carlin
When he got loaded, the human cannonball knew there were not many men of his caliber.
George Carlin
What occurs as you age is an accumulation of information, data, knowledge, and what I'm going to call the matrix of the mind. There's just a rich, textured, field of information and impressions that have been all networked by the brain.
George Carlin
I never take credit for anything, because it's mostly genetic to my way of thinking. Even the need to work hard with some genetic talent you're given - the need to go out and develop it, and push hard to bring it to people.
George Carlin
One philosopher has rightly said that property is theft. But I'd like to use my future ownership of property to give something back.
George Carlin
I don't believe there's any problem in this country, no matter how tough it is, that Americans, when they roll up their sleeves, can't completely ignore.
George Carlin
But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
George Carlin
Tits always look better in a pink sweater.
George Carlin
Life is a series of dogs.
George Carlin
