Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
The word bipartisan usually means some larger-than-usual deception is being carried out.
George Carlin
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Usually
Word
Means
Bipartisan
Mean
Deception
Carried
Usual
Larger
Genuine
More quotes by George Carlin
I definitely have a gift for language that is rhythmic and attractive to the ear, and I have interesting [verbal] imagery which I guess is a poetic touch.
George Carlin
When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.
George Carlin
There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who cannot.
George Carlin
Regarding local residents attempting to ban sex shops from their neighborhoods: You show me a parent who says he's worried about his child's innocence and I'll show you a homeowner trying to maintain equity.
George Carlin
Soft rock music isn’t rock, and it ain’t music. It’s just soft.
George Carlin
I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
George Carlin
Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
George Carlin
So I do have this ambivalence. Obviously I'm against militaries, because of what militaries do. In many ways though, the air force was unmilitary-like. They dropped bombs on people, but...they had a golf course.
George Carlin
The more complicated the order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a 'decaf grandee, half soy, half lowfat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet,' ooooh, you're a huge asshole.
George Carlin
If you nail a tool shed closed, how do you put the hammer away?
George Carlin
Just think, right now as you read this, some guy somewhere is gettin' ready to hang himself.
George Carlin
The following statement is true. The previous statement is false.
George Carlin
Dogs and cats get put to sleep hogs and cows get slaughtered.
George Carlin
That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
George Carlin
There are two types of people: One strives to control his environment, the other strives not to let his environment control him. I like to control my environment, because I feel if I have my physical space in order, then I'm free to dream.
George Carlin
You know who would make an interesting murder-suicide? Madeline Albright and Yanni.
George Carlin
Religion has what is EASILY the greatest bullshit story of all time.
George Carlin
If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
George Carlin
Sex always has consequences. When Hitler's mother spread her legs that night, she effectively canceled out the spreading of fifteen to twenty million other pairs of legs.
George Carlin
I say things that can be defined as prayers. But I don't pray to a power or ask an entity to intercede in the earthly scheme, because I don't believe that happens. But if I see a really unfortunate person in the street, I do pray, yes, though I suppose it's really more like a mantra to ease my own sorrow.
George Carlin