Quote

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Like
Fun
Changed
Turn
Dumplings
Happened
Sour
Wrong
Milk
Turns
Aging
Sound
Throw
Makes
Turned

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Tell people an invisible man in the sky created all things, they believe you. Tell them what you've painted is wet, they have to touch it to believe.
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People get all upset about torture, but when you get right down to it, it's really a pretty good way of finding out something a person doesn't want you to know.
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I believe myself to be a worthwhile and inventive performer in my own right. [And] I want to be known for what I do best.
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Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
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Why do they bother saying raw sewage? Do some people actually cook that stuff?
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Don't confuse my point of view with cynicism. The real cynics are the ones who tell you that everything's gonna be all right.
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Ah, to be a bird. To fly the skies, sing my song, and best of all occasionally peck someone's eyes out.
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Comedy is a socially acceptable form of hostility and aggression. That is what comics do, stand the world upside down.
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The New Testament is not new anymore' it's thousands of years old. It's time to start calling it the Less Old Testament.
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There are two types of people: One strives to control his environment, the other strives not to let his environment control him. I like to control my environment.
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Grass probably helped me as much as it hurt me. Especially as a performer.
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People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
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The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. God has a three-day weekend.
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No one is more himself than the moment when he's laughing at a joke. It's at those moments that people's defenses go down, and that's when you can slip in a good idea.
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Hallucinogens are a value changer...like it or not, it changes your values, it opens up windows (doors of perception.)
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Religion is sort of like a lift in your shoes. If it makes you feel better, fine. Just don't ask me to wear your shoes.
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The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind that Hitler was elected in a full, free democratic election
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Pacifism is a nice idea but it can get you killed. We're not there yet. Evolution is slow, small pox is fast.
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