Quote

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Sound
Throw
Makes
Turned
Like
Fun
Changed
Turn
Dumplings
Happened
Sour
Wrong
Milk
Turns
Aging

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People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
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Whenever you see the word cuisine used instead of the word food, be prepared to pay an additional eighty percent.
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It's legal for men to be floorwalkers and illegal for women to be streetwalkers.
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I'm not collegial, I don't hang out. I'm soloist, I like my solitude, I don't really hang around with comedians.
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It is said that Indians were sometimes named for the first thing they saw when they were born. Makes you wonder why there aren't more Indians named Hairy Pussy, doesn't it?
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Singing is basically a form of pleasant, controlled screaming.
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There's a thing about cocaine - when I was doing it secretly, it didn't make me very sociable. I forget how others were, but it made me very inner-directed. So being in a sketch and rehearsing and the hail fellow well met camaraderie and all that stuff, I couldn't fake that or force that. It was painful.
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I believe you can joke about anything.
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I hope no one asks me to show them the ropes I have no idea where they are. Maybe I could pull some strings and find out.
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We kind of shape our truths as we speak them. We fashion things to suit the occasion or the person or our own needs in the moment.
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My mother and her plans for my future. She had it all worked out. I would attend a nice college, then get a job in advertising. You'll be one of those smart-looking fellows in their Madison Avenue suits. And I rebelled against [my mother] and her values and her plans for my future at every opportunity.
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Some people think that words can injure the psyche or the moral fiber. And they really can't.
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There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? It seems only right. 'Tom, I'd like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy.' These days, Trajedi.
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When you quit school at an early age, I think you have a lifelong need to show the world - and maybe yourself - that you're really smart after all.
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By the next one [albom],Occupation: Foole, I was right back into the trip again. I'm more frantic, more breathless. You can hear how sick I am. If you want to see a cokehead, just look at the pictures on the Occupation: Foole album.
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I just love it when I hear a little commotion, someone leaving. When I see those doors in the back . . .
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I'd say pot has been a break-even proposition for me.
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Your home is your refuge.
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For a long time, I've distinguished between entertainer and performer and entertainer and artist. To me, an entertainer is someone who pleases others, and an artist tries to please himself.
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You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.
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