Quote

How old are you? 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Going
Never
Aging
Thirty
Six
Keys
Four
Five
Half

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Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
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I never worry that all hell will break loose. My concern is that only part of hell will break loose and be much harder to detect.
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I say things that can be defined as prayers. But I don't pray to a power or ask an entity to intercede in the earthly scheme, because I don't believe that happens. But if I see a really unfortunate person in the street, I do pray, yes, though I suppose it's really more like a mantra to ease my own sorrow.
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I quit school in ninth grade, even though I was good at the studies. I knew I didn't need school for what I wanted.
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The mayfly lives only one day. And sometimes it rains.
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Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
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I kind of like it when a lot of people die, and on the other hand I always wonder how many unused frequent-flier miles they had.
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They're only words. You can't be afraid of words that speak the truth, even if it's an unpleasant truth.
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Every day I break my own personal record for number of days I have been alive.
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In most polls there are always about 5 percent of the people who 'don't know.' What isn't generally understood is that it's the same people in every poll.
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It is said that Indians were sometimes named for the first thing they saw when they were born. Makes you wonder why there aren't more Indians named Hairy Pussy, doesn't it?
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You live eighty years, and at best you get about six minutes of pure magic.
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Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
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I don't get all choked up about yellow ribbons and American flags. I see them as symbols, and I leave them to the symbol-minded.
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The following statement is true. The previous statement is false.
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I'm 60 years of age. That's 16 Celsius.
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Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body
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