Quote

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Time
Aging
Think
Excited
Thinking
Realize
Like
Realizing
Less
Lives
Kids
Years
Fractions

More quotes by George Carlin

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Does killing time damage eternity?
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I have this real moron thing I do? It's called thinking.
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Put two things together which have never been put together before, and some schmuck will buy it.
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Scientists announced today that they have discovered a cure for apathy. However, they claim no one has shown the slightest interest in it.
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Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life. Football begins in the fall, when everything's dying.
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If you ask me, we could do with a little less motivation. - The people who are causing all the trouble seem highly motivated to me. - Serial killers, stock swindlers, drug dealers, Christian Republicans.
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How can it be a spy satellite if they announce on television that it's a spy satellite?
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Praying is begging for an unseen deity to alter the laws of nature for someone admittedly unworthy.
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And, of course, the funniest food: kumquats. I don't even bring them home anymore. I sit there laughing and they go to waste.
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Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body
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There are two types of people: One strives to control his environment, the other strives not to let his environment control him. I like to control my environment, because I feel if I have my physical space in order, then I'm free to dream.
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Property is theft. Nobody owns anything. When you die, it all stays here.
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Rhetoric paints with a broad brush.
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The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. God has a three-day weekend.
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One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
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The older you get, the better you realize you were.
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Catholic school gave me the tools to reject the very religion they wanted me to have. They taught me how to think for myself and to be independent.
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At best, God can be viewed as nothing more than an uncaring incompetent father-figure
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There was a built-in audience for the rebel in me that had been all along not expressing himself.
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To my surprise, my marijuana use has been tapering off steadily.
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