Quote

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Like
Realizing
Less
Lives
Kids
Years
Fractions
Time
Aging
Think
Excited
Thinking
Realize

More quotes by George Carlin

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Results like these [state of the earth] do not belong on the resumé of a supreme being.
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Does killing time damage eternity?
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We spend the early years feeding our brains with information and the latter half trying not to think about it all.
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The secret of success is doing something you love, doing it well and being recognized for it
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If God didn't want you to masturbate, he would have given you short arms.
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Everyone smiles in the same language.
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You wouldn't know it, from some of the things I've said over the years, but I like people. I do. I like people, but I like them in short bursts. I don't like people for extended periods of time. I'm all right with them for a little while, but once you get up past around... a minute, minute and a half, I gotta get the fuck out of there.
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If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…does that mean that 1 enjoys it?
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I finally accepted Jesus. not as my personal savior, but as a man I intend to borrow money from.
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People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think.
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Baby boomers helped me a great deal in my career. They launched me. They were there for me to sing my song to. And I'm not saying I'm better than anyone, but I think they turned that anti-authority baby boom mentality into their own enemy. Now I identify very closely with their children.
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With the proper training, I could've been an evil genius.
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I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed.
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Why don't they have waiters in waiting rooms?
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Dogs lead a nice life. You never see a dog with a wristwatch.
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The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
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There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.
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In Hawaii they say, aloha. That's a nice one, It means both hello and good-bye Which just goes to show, if you spend enough time in the sun you don't know whether you're coming or going.
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I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no I in team.' What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. But there is an I in independence, individuality and integrity.
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Life is a zero sum game.
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