Quote

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Lives
Kids
Years
Fractions
Time
Aging
Think
Excited
Thinking
Realize
Like
Realizing
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More quotes by George Carlin

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It seems to me like a perversion of talent for an artist of any kind to further the corporate structure of America or the personal interests of the morons and thieves who run it.
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I don't have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. I think that speaks for itself. The less said about it the better.
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I finally accepted Jesus. not as my personal savior, but as a man I intend to borrow money from.
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Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days I’ve stayed alive.
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That's the whole meaning of life, isn't it? Trying to find a place for your stuff.
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People who ask Can I ask you a question? Didn't really give me a choice, did ya there buddy?
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I never take credit for anything, because it's mostly genetic to my way of thinking. Even the need to work hard with some genetic talent you're given - the need to go out and develop it, and push hard to bring it to people.
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The planet is fine. The people are f****d. Because everyone is trying to save the planet. The planet doesn’t need that. The planet will take care of itself. People are selfish. And that's what they're doing is trying to save the planet for themselves to have a nicer place to live.
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Why do they bother with a suicide watch when someone is on death row? Keep an eye on this guy. We're gonna kill him, and we don't want him to hurt himself.
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You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
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The highly motivated people in society are the ones causing all the trouble. It's not the lazy unmotivated folks sitting in front of a TV eating potato chips who bother anyone.
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No one is ever more him/herself than when they really laugh. Their defenses are down. It's very Zen-like, that moment. They are completely open.
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Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be.
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Every time you use the phrase all my life it has a different meaning.
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War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle class and lower class young men off to die. It always has been.
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Life is not that complicated.
George Carlin
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You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.
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For an entertainer, part of the thing you do is just style. And the coke did help me get into great runs of pure form.
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Dogs and cats get put to sleep hogs and cows get slaughtered.
George Carlin
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Some people think that words can injure the psyche or the moral fiber. And they really can't.
George Carlin