Quote

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Think
Excited
Thinking
Realize
Like
Realizing
Less
Lives
Kids
Years
Fractions
Time
Aging

More quotes by George Carlin

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I think we’re part of a greater wisdom that we will ever understand a higher order, call it what you want. Know what I call it? The Big Electron. It doesn’t punish, it doesn’t reward, it doesn’t judge at all. It just is.
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Environmentalists changed the word jungle to rain forest, because no one would give them money to save a jungle. Same with swamps and wetlands.
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It's a keep your fingers crossed business, the entertainment business.
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To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated, but not be able to say it.
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I am not a complete vegetarian. I eat only animals that have died in their sleep.
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So far, this is the oldest I've been.
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Results like these [state of the earth] do not belong on the resumé of a supreme being.
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You know who would make an interesting murder-suicide? Madeline Albright and Yanni.
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Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
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In Rome, the emperor sat in a special part of the Colosseum called the Caesarian Section.
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Avoid people with gold teeth who want to play cards
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Catholics are against abortions. Catholics are against homosexuals. But, I can't think of anyone who has less abortions than homosexuals!
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So I do have this ambivalence. Obviously I'm against militaries, because of what militaries do. In many ways though, the air force was unmilitary-like. They dropped bombs on people, but...they had a golf course.
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We [americans] are not a freedom-loving people in the beautiful, spiritual sense. We have an inspiring Constitution, but we're a hardhearted people.
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I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond!
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You wouldn't know it, from some of the things I've said over the years, but I like people. I do. I like people, but I like them in short bursts. I don't like people for extended periods of time. I'm all right with them for a little while, but once you get up past around... a minute, minute and a half, I gotta get the fuck out of there.
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Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
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When I hear a person talking about political solutions, I know I am not listening to a serious person.
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Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
George Carlin
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Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another.
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