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Praying is begging for an unseen deity to alter the laws of nature for someone admittedly unworthy.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Unseen
Praying
Atheism
Admittedly
Laws
Deity
Law
Deities
Religion
Begging
Nature
Unworthy
Someone
Alter
More quotes by George Carlin
Baseball is a nineteenth-century pastoral game. Football is a twentieth-century technological struggle.
George Carlin
There are actually people who go out and re-fight these battles. You know what I say? Use real ammunition! You just might raise the intelligence level of the American gene pool!
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I'm 63 now. But that's just 17 Celsius.
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People get all upset about torture, but when you get right down to it, it's really a pretty good way of finding out something a person doesn't want you to know.
George Carlin
Art, music, and philosophy are merely poignant examples of what we might have been had not the priests and traders gotten hold of us.
George Carlin
The straightest line between a straight distance is two points.
George Carlin
Sun worship is fairly simple. There's no mystery, no miracles, no pageantry, no one asks for money, there are no songs to learn, and we don't have a special building where we all gather once a week to pare compare clothing.
George Carlin
People who own everything know how to relax a little and bend and exhale once in a while, but they're not going to let it get out of control.
George Carlin
The status quo sucks.
George Carlin
We kind of shape our truths as we speak them. We fashion things to suit the occasion or the person or our own needs in the moment.
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I call him Governor Bush because that's the only political office he's ever held legally in this country. I don't care where they hang his portrait, I don't care how big his library is. To me, he'll always be Governor Bush. I don't even capitalize his name when I type it anymore.
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Grass probably helped me as much as it hurt me. Especially as a performer.
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As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything.
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I was a hip kid. When I saw Bambi it was the midnight show.
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I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
George Carlin
Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
George Carlin
Christian Deodorant: Thou Shalt Not Smell
George Carlin
If it requires a uniform, it's a worthless endeavor.
George Carlin
Scientists announced today that they have discovered a cure for apathy. However, they claim no one has shown the slightest interest in it.
George Carlin
Surround yourself with what you love.
George Carlin
