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Praying is begging for an unseen deity to alter the laws of nature for someone admittedly unworthy.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Laws
Deity
Law
Deities
Religion
Begging
Nature
Unworthy
Someone
Alter
Unseen
Praying
Atheism
Admittedly

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Don't confuse my point of view with cynicism. The real cynics are the ones who tell you that everything's gonna be all right.
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Personally, emotionally, I'd rather divorce myself from the world than face the heartbreak of partial success. Because partial success implies overwhelming failure.
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One of the interesting things about outsidership is that underneath it there's a longing to belong. I just wish the thing I refused to belong to - the species, Western capital culture - was a little more respectable. My one true relaxation is my flotation tank, in which I can either meditate or just drift off.
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No one is more himself than the moment when he's laughing at a joke. It's at those moments that people's defenses go down, and that's when you can slip in a good idea.
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I've never been quarantined. But the more I look around the more I think it might not be a bad idea.
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The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
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I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
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I used to be Irish Catholic. Now I'm an American - you know, you grow.
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The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot. And although I never forgot it, I never quite memorized it either. So what I’m left with is the memory of having learned something very wise that I can’t quite remember.
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Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be.
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We kind of shape our truths as we speak them. We fashion things to suit the occasion or the person or our own needs in the moment.
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It's depressing to see blacks wanting to dive into the mainstream of American commercial life. They come from a magnificent African culture based on aesthetics, and they all want to become fort builders like the vicious people who originally enslaved them.
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Put two things together which have never been put together before, and some schmuck will buy it.
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There will be a rain dance Friday night, weather permitting!
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There was a built-in audience for the rebel in me that had been all along not expressing himself.
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No one is ever more him/herself than when they really laugh. Their defenses are down. It's very Zen-like, that moment. They are completely open.
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A dog has no shame. If he can do it, you can watch.
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Hooray for most things!
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Know my feelings about traffic laws? Cop didn't see it? I didn't do it.
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I've never owned a telescope, but it's something I'm thinking of looking into.
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