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I remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School and my mother would get drunk and try to make pancakes
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Home
Sunday
Come
Drunk
Trying
Mother
Make
Kids
Would
School
Remember
Used
Care
Pancakes
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By the age of six or seven, I was already doing voices and faces, making my friends and my mother laugh.
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What I hated most was seeing those priests and brothers getting so much pleasure out of inflicting pain. I wondered what was wrong with them.
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If God had intended us not to masturbate, He would have made our arms shorter.
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I was once dancing with a woman who told me she had a yeast infection so I told her to bake me some bread.
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I think it keeps the child alive in me. There's a thrill when you steal something in plain view of other people.
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There are actually people who go out and re-fight these battles. You know what I say? Use real ammunition! You just might raise the intelligence level of the American gene pool!
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