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I remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School and my mother would get drunk and try to make pancakes

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Trying
Mother
Make
Kids
Would
School
Remember
Used
Care
Pancakes
Home
Sunday
Come
Drunk

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To my surprise, my marijuana use has been tapering off steadily.
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I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
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The next time a prostitute solicits your business, ask for the clergyman's rate.
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Irony deals with opposites it has nothing to do with coincidence.
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Sometimes, when I was really loaded, I'd sit on the floor and sort out every nut and bolt in the house. It was just sheer insanity. And often there'd be speed in the cut, so I was a speed freak, too.
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Beethoven was so hard of hearing, he thought he was a painter.
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Religion cruelly exploits our need to feel connected.
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