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Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Love
People
Wise
Opportunity
Tell
Every
More quotes by George Carlin
The mayfly lives only one day. And sometimes it rains.
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It seems to me like a perversion of talent for an artist of any kind to further the corporate structure of America or the personal interests of the morons and thieves who run it.
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Suppose I could shoot myself in the mouth, but what if I miss? People will laugh at me.
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I've been a performer for a long time and I know when people are laughing from their guts, from the inside, and when their tuxedos are laughing.
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You're really spread out now, you've got stuff all over the WORLD! You've got stuff at home, stuff in storage, stuff in Honolulu, stuff in Maui, stuff in your pockets...supply lines are getting longer and harder to maintain.
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You show me a tropical fruit and I'll show you a cocksucker from Guatemala.
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You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.
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Hey! Who stole my collection of used bandages?! And they also got away with my nude pictures of Ernest Borgnine!
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Why don't they have waiters in waiting rooms?
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People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think.
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Give now. Somewhere, someone feels crappy. You can help.
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Soft rock music isn’t rock, and it ain’t music. It’s just soft.
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When you think about it, 12:15 P.M. is actually 11:75 A.M.
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There's this man who lives in the sky, and he has ten things he doesn't want you to do, and you'll burn for a long time if you do them. But he loves you.
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No comment is a comment.
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Religion has what is EASILY the greatest bullshit story of all time.
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Baby boomers helped me a great deal in my career. They launched me. They were there for me to sing my song to. And I'm not saying I'm better than anyone, but I think they turned that anti-authority baby boom mentality into their own enemy. Now I identify very closely with their children.
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I believe you can joke about anything.
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Somewhere in the world is a doctor who is worse than all other doctors...and someone has an appointment with him in the morning.
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Did you ever look at your watch, and you look away... and you don't know what time it is?
George Carlin
