Quote

Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Happiness
Taping
Happy
Accumulating
Body
Sandwiches
Trying
Possessions
Like
Satisfy
Possession
Hunger
Fun

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The sicker you get, the harder it is to remember if you took your medicine.
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I never joined the Boy Scouts. I don't trust any organization that has a handbook.
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My advice: Just keep movin' straight ahead. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place.
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Sun worship is fairly simple. There's no mystery, no miracles, no pageantry, no one asks for money, there are no songs to learn, and we don't have a special building where we all gather once a week to pare compare clothing.
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Political discourse has been reduced to Where's the beef? Read my lips, and Make my day. Where are the assassins when we really need them?
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All messages from Satan are played forward and are in standard American English.
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Hallucinogens are a value changer...like it or not, it changes your values, it opens up windows (doors of perception.)
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I think it keeps the child alive in me. There's a thrill when you steal something in plain view of other people.
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I've never been quarantined. But the more I look around the more I think it might not be a bad idea.
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There was a built-in audience for the rebel in me that had been all along not expressing himself.
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The US Army has announced that although it is true they performed mind-destroying drug tests on hundreds of soldiers in the 1960s, none of the victims have been promoted beyond the rank of lieutenant colonel.
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When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' 'He's two' will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.
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You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
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But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
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How old are you? 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key.
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