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Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Fun
Happiness
Taping
Happy
Accumulating
Body
Sandwiches
Trying
Possessions
Like
Satisfy
Possession
Hunger

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hard work is a misleading term. physical effort & long hours do not constitute hard work. hard work is when someone pays you to do something you'd rather not be doing. anytime you'd rather be doing something other than the thing you're doing...you're doing hard work.
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The following statement is true. The previous statement is false.
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Religion is just mind control.
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So far, this is the oldest I've been.
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The rebellious mood of the country during those [60th] years allowed me to plug right back into my old hatreds. I could scream and holler, as I did on the albums, against religion, government, big business - all those assholes and their values. That hatred was very real.
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If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…does that mean that 1 enjoys it?
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Don Ho can sign autographs 3.4 times faster than Efrem Zimbalist Jr.
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In the doggie dictionary, under bow wow it says, See arf arf.
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Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breaths away.
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They say that instead of cursing the darkness, one should light a candle. Nothing is mentioned, though, about cursing a lack of candles.
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Art, music, and philosophy are merely poignant examples of what we might have been had not the priests and traders gotten hold of us.
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Why don't they have waiters in waiting rooms?
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And speaking of sex, the Immaculate Conception does not mean Jesus was conceived in the absence of sex. It means Mary was conceived without Original Sin. That's all it has ever meant. And according to the tabloids, Mary is apparently the only one who can make such a claim. The Jesus thing is called virgin birth.
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Environmentalists changed the word jungle to rain forest, because no one would give them money to save a jungle. Same with swamps and wetlands.
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I recently bought a book of free verse. For twelve dollars.
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Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
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The enjoyment has been diminishing. Now, there's no question that it's sort of fun to get high.
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Dogs lead a nice life. You never see a dog with a wristwatch.
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May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
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There are two types of people: One strives to control his environment, the other strives not to let his environment control him. I like to control my environment, because I feel if I have my physical space in order, then I'm free to dream.
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