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There may or may not be atheists in foxholes, but I'm certain there are none in the Ku Klux Klan.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Atheist
None
Atheism
Doubt
Certain
Klux
May
Foxholes
Klan
Atheists
More quotes by George Carlin
At best, God can be viewed as nothing more than an uncaring incompetent father-figure
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I don't have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. I think that speaks for itself. The less said about it the better.
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Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.
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I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.
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Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight?
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Hitler never bothered with restaurant reservations he just dropped by. And somehow they always found him a table.
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The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.
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One philosopher has rightly said that property is theft. But I'd like to use my future ownership of property to give something back.
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By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
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If you have a legal problem, guess how you determine whether or not you need a lawyer. You see a lawyer. Isn't that weird?
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If someone loves you and they leave and don't come back, it was never meant to be. If someone loves you and they leave and come back, set them on fire.
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Don Ho can sign autographs 3.4 times faster than Efrem Zimbalist Jr.
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I like Florida. Everything is in the 80s. The temperatures, the ages and the IQ's.
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My money buys me the freedom not to be a member of the corporate structure. And I certainly don't feel guilty or hypocritical about that. The way our economy is set up, if you don't want to be a corporate moron and you don't want to be enfeebled in the streets, you must earn enough to know that you'll never have to go to them for money.
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Thall shall keep thy religion to thy selves.
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I used to be Irish Catholic. Now I'm an American - you know, you grow.
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We think in language. The quality of our thoughts and ideas can only be as good as the quality of our language.
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No one is more himself than the moment when he's laughing at a joke. It's at those moments that people's defenses go down, and that's when you can slip in a good idea.
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