Quote

In the doggie dictionary, under bow wow it says, See arf arf.

George Carlin

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Wow
Dictionary
Bows
Humorous
Says

More quotes by George Carlin

Image
Environmentalists changed the word jungle to rain forest, because no one would give them money to save a jungle. Same with swamps and wetlands.
George Carlin
Image
Traditional American values: Genocide, aggression, conformity, emotional repression, hypocrisy, and the worship of comfort and consumer goods.
George Carlin
Image
Test of Metal: Will of Iron, Nerves of Steel, Heart of Gold, Balls of Brass.
George Carlin
Image
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
George Carlin
Image
Leftovers make you feel good twice. First, when you put it away, you feel thrifty and intelligent: 'I'm saving food!' Then a month later when blue hair is growing out of the ham, and you throw it away, you feel really intelligent: 'I'm saving my life!'
George Carlin
Image
I quit school in ninth grade, even though I was good at the studies. I knew I didn't need school for what I wanted.
George Carlin
Image
Flowers are one of the few things we buy, bring home, watch die, and we don't ask for our money back.
George Carlin
Image
I think it keeps the child alive in me. There's a thrill when you steal something in plain view of other people.
George Carlin
Image
There was a built-in audience for the rebel in me that had been all along not expressing himself.
George Carlin
Image
There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who cannot.
George Carlin
Image
A lot of times when they catch a guy who killed twenty-seven people, they say, He was a loner. Well, of course he was a loner he killed everyone he came in contact with.
George Carlin
Image
Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
George Carlin
Image
I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed.
George Carlin
Image
Life is a series of dogs.
George Carlin
Image
I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here is one I would suggest: Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.
George Carlin
Image
Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
George Carlin
Image
In Hawaii they say, aloha. That's a nice one, It means both hello and good-bye Which just goes to show, if you spend enough time in the sun you don't know whether you're coming or going.
George Carlin
Image
I simply decided that dope wasn't worth the ritual.
George Carlin
Image
People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
George Carlin
Image
hard work is a misleading term. physical effort & long hours do not constitute hard work. hard work is when someone pays you to do something you'd rather not be doing. anytime you'd rather be doing something other than the thing you're doing...you're doing hard work.
George Carlin