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Sun worship is fairly simple. There's no mystery, no miracles, no pageantry, no one asks for money, there are no songs to learn, and we don't have a special building where we all gather once a week to pare compare clothing.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Asks
Miracle
Pageantry
Simple
Worship
Gather
Learn
Sun
Clothings
Song
Songs
Clothing
Money
Mystery
Miracles
Building
Fairly
Week
Compare
Special
Humorous
Pare

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There's a thing about cocaine - when I was doing it secretly, it didn't make me very sociable. I forget how others were, but it made me very inner-directed. So being in a sketch and rehearsing and the hail fellow well met camaraderie and all that stuff, I couldn't fake that or force that. It was painful.
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In terms of coke, the only money I ever thought about was that dollar bill I had stuck up my nose.
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A lot of times when they catch a guy who killed twenty-seven people, they say, He was a loner. Well, of course he was a loner he killed everyone he came in contact with.
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They say that instead of cursing the darkness, one should light a candle. Nothing is mentioned, though, about cursing a lack of candles.
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Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
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People always tell me Have a nice day. Well what if I don't want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
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Fussy eater is a euphemism for big pain in the ass.
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You know who would make an interesting murder-suicide? Madeline Albright and Yanni.
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Your dog thinks you're a god. Your cat thinks the dog's an asshole.
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Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breaths away.
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It's legal for men to be floorwalkers and illegal for women to be streetwalkers.
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