Quote

I never worry that all hell will break loose. My concern is that only part of hell will break loose and be much harder to detect.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Concern
Harder
Worry
Hell
Break
Part
Detect
Much
Loose
Never
Humorous

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Sometimes when I'm told to use my own discretion, if no one is looking I'll use someone else's. But I always put it back.
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One of the first things they teach you in Driver's Ed is where to put your hands on the steering wheel. They tell you put 'em at ten o'clock and two o' clock. Never mind that . I put mine at 9:45 and 2:17. Gives me an extra half hour to get where I'm goin'.
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By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
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One time. In 1965. August, for about an hour, I was both fine AND dandy at the same time. But nobody asked me how I was.
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Avoid people with gold teeth who want to play cards
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There will be a rain dance Friday night, weather permitting!
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It's harder to be funny from the position of power.
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On the other hand, pot opens windows and doors that you may not be able to get through any other way.
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The more complicated the order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a 'decaf grandee, half soy, half lowfat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet,' ooooh, you're a huge asshole.
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There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? It seems only right. 'Tom, I'd like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy.' These days, Trajedi.
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The enjoyment has been diminishing. Now, there's no question that it's sort of fun to get high.
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Everyone smiles in the same language.
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I'm 60 years of age. That's 16 Celsius.
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As powerful as anyone may claim God to be, somehow he always needs money.
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Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?
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The rebellious mood of the country during those [60th] years allowed me to plug right back into my old hatreds. I could scream and holler, as I did on the albums, against religion, government, big business - all those assholes and their values. That hatred was very real.
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My left descending septal branch artery decided to close without consultation with any of my other organs. It happened on Saint Patrick's Day, 1978.
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Baby boomers helped me a great deal in my career. They launched me. They were there for me to sing my song to. And I'm not saying I'm better than anyone, but I think they turned that anti-authority baby boom mentality into their own enemy. Now I identify very closely with their children.
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I've been a performer for a long time and I know when people are laughing from their guts, from the inside, and when their tuxedos are laughing.
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Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
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