Quote

I never worry that all hell will break loose. My concern is that only part of hell will break loose and be much harder to detect.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Never
Humorous
Concern
Harder
Worry
Hell
Break
Part
Detect
Much
Loose

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Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
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Every day I break my own personal record for number of days I have been alive.
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They say if you outlaw guns, only outlaws will have guns. Well, those are precisely the people who need them!
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One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
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We think in language. The quality of our thoughts and ideas can only be as good as the quality of our language.
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If God had intended us not to masturbate, He would have made our arms shorter.
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I gravitated toward being a funny guy. I liked the radio comedians. I lived in the Golden Age of radio, and the Golden Age of television came along when I was still in my early teens.
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There's this man who lives in the sky, and he has ten things he doesn't want you to do, and you'll burn for a long time if you do them. But he loves you.
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Never get on an airplane if the pilot is wearing a hat that has more than three pastel colors.
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No comment is a comment.
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Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
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Baby boomers helped me a great deal in my career. They launched me. They were there for me to sing my song to. And I'm not saying I'm better than anyone, but I think they turned that anti-authority baby boom mentality into their own enemy. Now I identify very closely with their children.
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Your dog thinks you're a god. Your cat thinks the dog's an asshole.
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Number one, one, one on wonderful WINO.
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A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
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If God didn't want you to masturbate, he would have given you short arms.
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The enjoyment has been diminishing. Now, there's no question that it's sort of fun to get high.
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I think everyone should treat one another in a Christian manner. I will not, however, be responsible for the consequences.
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Children are not our future, and I can prove it with my usual, flawless logic. Children can't be our future, because by the time the future arrives, they won't be children anymore, so blow me!
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