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In Hawaii they say, aloha. That's a nice one, It means both hello and good-bye Which just goes to show, if you spend enough time in the sun you don't know whether you're coming or going.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
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Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
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Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
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Aloha
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Humorous
More quotes by George Carlin
Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
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Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life. Football begins in the fall, when everything's dying.
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Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky.
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More people have been killed in the name of God than for any other reason.
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All the wrong things for all the wrong reasons. Sometimes people just want to feel different. And so long as Third World peasants are poor they will send us drugs, and as long as we are empty we will ask for this little plant.
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We spend the early years feeding our brains with information and the latter half trying not to think about it all.
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It was the typical paranoid experience [to hide coke]. As soon as I knew my hiding place, I thought the whole world knew it. I'd write clues to my hiding places in code, then forget the code and spend the rest of the day looking for my coke.
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One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
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Hey! Who stole my collection of used bandages?! And they also got away with my nude pictures of Ernest Borgnine!
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Boxing is a more sophisticated form of hockey.
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You show me something that doesn't cause cancer, and I'll show you something that isn't on the market yet.
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If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
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I think everyone should treat one another in a Christian manner. I will not, however, be responsible for the consequences.
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Irony deals with opposites it has nothing to do with coincidence.
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Tits always look better in a pink sweater.
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I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no I in team.' What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. But there is an I in independence, individuality and integrity.
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I recently bought a book of free verse. For twelve dollars.
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Anyone who's onstage is going to attract a certain number of misguided people. But I was never very interested in groupies. Instead of thinking about the sex, I'd always think about the clap and the crabs those people have.
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All messages from Satan are played forward and are in standard American English.
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Religion is a self-conferred intellectual decision it's not something you get at birth and is unchangeable. You're collusive with the religion when you accept it you have a choice.
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