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In Hawaii they say, aloha. That's a nice one, It means both hello and good-bye Which just goes to show, if you spend enough time in the sun you don't know whether you're coming or going.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
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Film Actor
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Humorist
Journalist
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Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
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Aloha
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More quotes by George Carlin
Military cemeteries around the world are packed with brainwashed dead soldiers who were convinced God was on their side. America prays for God to destroy our enemies. Our enemies pray for God to destroy us. Somebody's gonna be disappointed! Somebody's wasting their time! Could it be.. everyone?
George Carlin
If this is the best God can do, I'm not impressed.
George Carlin
I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
George Carlin
I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
George Carlin
We created god in our own image and likeness!
George Carlin
Why do they bother saying raw sewage? Do some people actually cook that stuff?
George Carlin
You show me a tropical fruit and I'll show you a cocksucker from Guatemala.
George Carlin
Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.
George Carlin
Rhetoric paints with a broad brush.
George Carlin
The secretiveness. The stealth. Those were obviously the aspects of cocaine use I was addicted to.
George Carlin
I don't have hobbies hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free.
George Carlin
There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who cannot.
George Carlin
My left descending septal branch artery decided to close without consultation with any of my other organs. It happened on Saint Patrick's Day, 1978.
George Carlin
Every person you look at, you can see the universe in their eyes, if you're really looking
George Carlin
hard work is a misleading term. physical effort & long hours do not constitute hard work. hard work is when someone pays you to do something you'd rather not be doing. anytime you'd rather be doing something other than the thing you're doing...you're doing hard work.
George Carlin
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
George Carlin
One time. In 1965. August, for about an hour, I was both fine AND dandy at the same time. But nobody asked me how I was.
George Carlin
When I listen to those tapes now, the real cocaine shows there's just nothing special about their content.
George Carlin
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
George Carlin
If God had intended us not to masturbate, He would have made our arms shorter.
George Carlin