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The mayfly lives only one day. And sometimes it rains.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Rains
Humorous
Rain
Lives
Sometimes
More quotes by George Carlin
If the reason for climbing Mt. Everest is that it's hard to do, why does everyone go up the easy side?
George Carlin
hard work is a misleading term. physical effort & long hours do not constitute hard work. hard work is when someone pays you to do something you'd rather not be doing. anytime you'd rather be doing something other than the thing you're doing...you're doing hard work.
George Carlin
There's a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
George Carlin
Beethoven was so hard of hearing, he thought he was a painter.
George Carlin
Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? It’s because volunteers work for no pay. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.
George Carlin
A dog has no shame. If he can do it, you can watch.
George Carlin
I think it keeps the child alive in me. There's a thrill when you steal something in plain view of other people.
George Carlin
I'll tell you a little secret about the Blues: it's not enough to know which notes to play, you have to know why they need to be played.
George Carlin
So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
George Carlin
When people asked me, Do you get high to go onstage? I could never understand the question. I mean, I'd been high since eight that morning. Going onstage had nothing to do with it.
George Carlin
A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
George Carlin
The surgeon general warned today that saliva causes stomach cancer. But apparently only when swallowed in small amounts over a long period of time.
George Carlin
Most of the time people feel okay. Probably it's because at the moment they're not actually dying.
George Carlin
I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.
George Carlin
Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
George Carlin
I definitely have a gift for language that is rhythmic and attractive to the ear, and I have interesting [verbal] imagery which I guess is a poetic touch.
George Carlin
If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him.
George Carlin
Nothing you see on the Internet is mine unless it comes from one of my albums, books, HBO specials, or appeared on my website.
George Carlin
You know who would make an interesting murder-suicide? Madeline Albright and Yanni.
George Carlin
If God is all powerful, can He make a stone so big that He Himself can't lift it?
George Carlin
