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The mayfly lives only one day. And sometimes it rains.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Rains
Humorous
Rain
Lives
Sometimes
More quotes by George Carlin
I say if you're going to go for the Angel bullshit you might as well go for the Zombie package as well.
George Carlin
You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.
George Carlin
It's legal for men to be floorwalkers and illegal for women to be streetwalkers.
George Carlin
In most polls there are always about 5 percent of the people who 'don't know.' What isn't generally understood is that it's the same people in every poll.
George Carlin
When someone is impatient and says, 'I haven't got all day,' I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?
George Carlin
Every time you use the phrase all my life it has a different meaning.
George Carlin
It was the typical paranoid experience [to hide coke]. As soon as I knew my hiding place, I thought the whole world knew it. I'd write clues to my hiding places in code, then forget the code and spend the rest of the day looking for my coke.
George Carlin
It seems to me like a perversion of talent for an artist of any kind to further the corporate structure of America or the personal interests of the morons and thieves who run it.
George Carlin
I think there's a little more attention to human needs than to property rights. But I don't think much of political activism. It's so shortsighted. Most people are interested in their own personal comfort. I've said that about environmentalists. I think they care about bike paths and places to park their Volvos, not the planet as an abstraction.
George Carlin
Do you know the nicest thing about looking at pictures of a 1950's baseball park? The only people wearing baseball caps are the players.
George Carlin
When people asked me, Do you get high to go onstage? I could never understand the question. I mean, I'd been high since eight that morning. Going onstage had nothing to do with it.
George Carlin
Ah, to be a bird. To fly the skies, sing my song, and best of all occasionally peck someone's eyes out.
George Carlin
I hope I'm beginning a new cycle of energy and creativity. If so, it'll really be my third career. The first was as a straight comic in the Sixties. The second was as a counterculture performer in the Seventies. The third will be...well, that's for others to judge.
George Carlin
I kind of like it when a lot of people die, and on the other hand I always wonder how many unused frequent-flier miles they had.
George Carlin
The Human Species could have been great but instead we became satisfied with lights on our tennis shoes.
George Carlin
I do something about the weather. I stay home.
George Carlin
Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers?
George Carlin
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
George Carlin
I recently bought a book of free verse. For twelve dollars.
George Carlin
Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?
George Carlin