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The mayfly lives only one day. And sometimes it rains.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Rains
Humorous
Rain
Lives
Sometimes

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Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days I’ve stayed alive.
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At best, God can be viewed as nothing more than an uncaring incompetent father-figure
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Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.
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Most of the time people feel okay. Probably it's because at the moment they're not actually dying.
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Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
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Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
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I never worry that all hell will break loose. My concern is that only part of hell will break loose and be much harder to detect.
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We created god in our own image and likeness!
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A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
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There was a built-in audience for the rebel in me that had been all along not expressing himself.
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As far as I'm concerned, humans have not yet come up with a belief that's worth believing.
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Whenever you see the word cuisine used instead of the word food, be prepared to pay an additional eighty percent.
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When you think about it, attention-deficit order makes a lot of sense. In this country there isn't a lot worth paying attention to.
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Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
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Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
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When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. It will not be with jack-boots. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. Germany lost the Second World War. Fascism won it. Believe me, my friend.
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It is impossible for an abortion clinic to have a waiting list of more than nine months.
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For an entertainer, part of the thing you do is just style. And the coke did help me get into great runs of pure form.
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I gravitated toward being a funny guy. I liked the radio comedians. I lived in the Golden Age of radio, and the Golden Age of television came along when I was still in my early teens.
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I like Florida. Everything is in the 80s. The temperatures, the ages and the IQ's.
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