Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
You're all going to die. I hate to remind you, but it is on your schedule. It probably won't happen when you'd like generally, it's an inconvenience.
George Carlin
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Happen
Dies
Inconvenience
Hate
Schedule
Happens
Schedules
Going
Remind
Like
Humorous
Generally
Probably
More quotes by George Carlin
There are two types of people: One strives to control his environment, the other strives not to let his environment control him. I like to control my environment, because I feel if I have my physical space in order, then I'm free to dream.
George Carlin
Never let the brain idle. ‘An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.’ And the devil’s name is Alzheimer’s.
George Carlin
There's a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
George Carlin
Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
George Carlin
Hitler never bothered with restaurant reservations he just dropped by. And somehow they always found him a table.
George Carlin
And now gay people want to get married... Haven't they suffered enough?
George Carlin
If it requires a uniform, it's a worthless endeavor.
George Carlin
If God is all powerful, can He make a stone so big that He Himself can't lift it?
George Carlin
In the doggie dictionary, under bow wow it says, See arf arf.
George Carlin
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
George Carlin
Children are not our future, and I can prove it with my usual, flawless logic. Children can't be our future, because by the time the future arrives, they won't be children anymore, so blow me!
George Carlin
In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.
George Carlin
They say that instead of cursing the darkness, one should light a candle. Nothing is mentioned, though, about cursing a lack of candles.
George Carlin
Did you ever look at your watch, and you look away... and you don't know what time it is?
George Carlin
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
George Carlin
Scientists announced today that they have discovered a cure for apathy. However, they claim no one has shown the slightest interest in it.
George Carlin
Flowers are one of the few things we buy, bring home, watch die, and we don't ask for our money back.
George Carlin
Whereas your blackness, ethnicity, homosexuality is something that might be genetic, I can't touch that, and I have no right.
George Carlin
The secretiveness. The stealth. Those were obviously the aspects of cocaine use I was addicted to.
George Carlin
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
George Carlin