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Christian Deodorant: Thou Shalt Not Smell

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Shalt
Humorous
Smell
Thou
Christian
Deodorant

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I recently bought a book of free verse. For twelve dollars.
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The ritual was very important to me: cleaning the pot, rolling the pot.
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First I was a mimic. Practically from the moment I began talking, I did impersonations of the people in my neighborhood - the storekeepers, the policemen, my teachers.
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I don't have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. I think that speaks for itself. The less said about it the better.
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You never see a smiling runner.
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When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.
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If you've got a cat and a leg, you've got a happy cat. If you've got a cat and two legs, you've got a party.
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Do you think Sammy Davis ate Junior Mints?
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Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight?
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Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?
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When you visualize the recent past, do you see it as being somewhere over on the left?
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Life is a zero sum game.
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When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' 'He's two' will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.
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Hey! Who stole my collection of used bandages?! And they also got away with my nude pictures of Ernest Borgnine!
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I definitely have a gift for language that is rhythmic and attractive to the ear, and I have interesting [verbal] imagery which I guess is a poetic touch.
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To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated, but not be able to say it.
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The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.
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Ah, to be a bird. To fly the skies, sing my song, and best of all occasionally peck someone's eyes out.
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