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Christian Deodorant: Thou Shalt Not Smell

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Deodorant
Shalt
Humorous
Smell
Thou
Christian

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I am not a complete vegetarian. I eat only animals that have died in their sleep.
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I think we overrate ourselves in terms of our abilities and capacities. I mean, just because you can build a really swell bridge doesn't, to my way of thinking, mean that you're an advanced civilization.
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God bless the homicidal maniacs. They make life worthwhile.
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I do something about the weather. I stay home.
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I'm certainly a skeptic. I always quibble with people.
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The things that matter in this country have been reduced in choice, there are two political parties, there are a handful insurance companies, there are six or seven information centers.. but if you want a bagel there are 23 flavors. Because you have the illusion of choice!
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There are two types of people: One strives to control his environment, the other strives not to let his environment control him. I like to control my environment.
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How do you write zero in Roman numerals?
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If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
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No one who has had Taps played for them has ever been able to hear it.
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And speaking of sex, the Immaculate Conception does not mean Jesus was conceived in the absence of sex. It means Mary was conceived without Original Sin. That's all it has ever meant. And according to the tabloids, Mary is apparently the only one who can make such a claim. The Jesus thing is called virgin birth.
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Religion is a self-conferred intellectual decision it's not something you get at birth and is unchangeable. You're collusive with the religion when you accept it you have a choice.
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I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist.
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Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
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Flowers are one of the few things we buy, bring home, watch die, and we don't ask for our money back.
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I'm thinking of buying a church and changing it around: maybe selling crack and having a few whores in the pew.
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For an entertainer, part of the thing you do is just style. And the coke did help me get into great runs of pure form.
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Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.
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Personally, emotionally, I'd rather divorce myself from the world than face the heartbreak of partial success. Because partial success implies overwhelming failure.
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The good lord tripped me up behind the line of scrimmage.
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