Quote

Christian Deodorant: Thou Shalt Not Smell

George Carlin

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Smell
Thou
Christian
Deodorant
Shalt
Humorous

More quotes by George Carlin

Image
People have material needs, but you don't need a deodorant for every different day of the week. You don't need four hundred varieties of mustard. This is what I call too many choices. There are too many choices in America.
George Carlin
Image
How do you write zero in Roman numerals?
George Carlin
Image
The phrase surgical strike might be more acceptable if it were common practice to perform surgery with high explosives.
George Carlin
Image
I say things that can be defined as prayers. But I don't pray to a power or ask an entity to intercede in the earthly scheme, because I don't believe that happens. But if I see a really unfortunate person in the street, I do pray, yes, though I suppose it's really more like a mantra to ease my own sorrow.
George Carlin
Image
There are battered husbands. Apparently this happens when the woman is real big, the man is very small, and they each drink a quart of whiskey a day.
George Carlin
Image
How is it possible to have a civil war?
George Carlin
Image
Without the laughs, the audience wouldn't be there at all, so in that sense, yes, I am a comedian.
George Carlin
Image
Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.
George Carlin
Image
I think we overrate ourselves in terms of our abilities and capacities. I mean, just because you can build a really swell bridge doesn't, to my way of thinking, mean that you're an advanced civilization.
George Carlin
Image
Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.
George Carlin
Image
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
George Carlin
Image
How come when it's us, it's an abortion, and when it's a chicken, it's an omelette? Are we so much better than chickens all of a sudden? When did this happen that we passed chickens in goodness? Name six ways we're better than chickens. See, nobody can do it! You know why? 'Cause chickens are decent people.
George Carlin
Image
I'm thinking of buying a church and changing it around: maybe selling crack and having a few whores in the pew.
George Carlin
Image
Surround yourself with what you love.
George Carlin
Image
Fussy eater is a euphemism for big pain in the ass.
George Carlin
Image
Boxing is a more sophisticated form of hockey.
George Carlin
Image
Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.
George Carlin
Image
I definitely have a gift for language that is rhythmic and attractive to the ear, and I have interesting [verbal] imagery which I guess is a poetic touch.
George Carlin
Image
All the wrong things for all the wrong reasons. Sometimes people just want to feel different. And so long as Third World peasants are poor they will send us drugs, and as long as we are empty we will ask for this little plant.
George Carlin
Image
The next time a prostitute solicits your business, ask for the clergyman's rate.
George Carlin