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Christian Deodorant: Thou Shalt Not Smell

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Humorous
Smell
Thou
Christian
Deodorant
Shalt

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I am not a complete vegetarian. I eat only animals that have died in their sleep.
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Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
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Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers?
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Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
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My advice: Just keep movin' straight ahead. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place.
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I think of myself as an entertainer: I'm a performing entertainer, I'm a stand-up comic. But there's an artist at work here, too. One who interprets his world through his own filter.
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I've never owned a telescope, but it's something I'm thinking of looking into.
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I hope I'm beginning a new cycle of energy and creativity. If so, it'll really be my third career. The first was as a straight comic in the Sixties. The second was as a counterculture performer in the Seventies. The third will be...well, that's for others to judge.
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Tell people an invisible man in the sky created all things, they believe you. Tell them what you've painted is wet, they have to touch it to believe.
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The sicker you get, the harder it is to remember if you took your medicine.
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The highly motivated people in society are the ones causing all the trouble. It's not the lazy unmotivated folks sitting in front of a TV eating potato chips who bother anyone.
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If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…does that mean that 1 enjoys it?
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Never let the brain idle. ‘An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.’ And the devil’s name is Alzheimer’s.
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No comment is a comment.
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If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
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The following statement is true. The previous statement is false.
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Life is a series of dogs.
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I have this real moron thing I do? It's called thinking.
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People who own everything know how to relax a little and bend and exhale once in a while, but they're not going to let it get out of control.
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When people asked me, Do you get high to go onstage? I could never understand the question. I mean, I'd been high since eight that morning. Going onstage had nothing to do with it.
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