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Christian Deodorant: Thou Shalt Not Smell
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Thou
Christian
Deodorant
Shalt
Humorous
Smell
More quotes by George Carlin
Just think, right now as you read this, some guy somewhere is gettin' ready to hang himself.
George Carlin
Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
George Carlin
The whole problem with the world today: private property. If no one owned anything, it would be a lot better. There's even an entire industry devoted to keeping an eye on other people's stuff. This is how stupid it's got. If you decide to get rid of a lot of your stuff, you can give it to a thrift shop or to Goodwill.
George Carlin
Catholic school gave me the tools to reject the very religion they wanted me to have. They taught me how to think for myself and to be independent.
George Carlin
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
George Carlin
Number one, one, one on wonderful WINO.
George Carlin
Running isn't a sport because anyone can do it. Anything we can all do can't be a sport. I can run, you can run. My mother can run, you don't see her on the cover of Sports Illustrated do you?
George Carlin
Life is a zero sum game.
George Carlin
That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
George Carlin
If you have a legal problem, guess how you determine whether or not you need a lawyer. You see a lawyer. Isn't that weird?
George Carlin
Can placebos cause side effects? If so, are the side effects real?
George Carlin
War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle class and lower class young men off to die. It always has been.
George Carlin
What do dogs do on their day off? Can't lie around – that's their job!
George Carlin
Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.
George Carlin
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.
George Carlin
A lot of times when they catch a guy who killed twenty-seven people, they say, He was a loner. Well, of course he was a loner he killed everyone he came in contact with.
George Carlin
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard
George Carlin
How is it possible to have a civil war?
George Carlin
We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life, not life to years.
George Carlin
If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him.
George Carlin
