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Christian Deodorant: Thou Shalt Not Smell

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Humorous
Smell
Thou
Christian
Deodorant
Shalt

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I find that an entertainer is quite content to sit still, and I think an artist always has a little motion, always going somewhere. May not know where it is, but there is some sort of unnamed destination. There is some pulling, some movement. So I just found myself in that category according to my own analysis.
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Writing books isn't a drastic departure from writing for the stage.
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Religion is just mind control.
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No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee I have no interest in any of it. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.
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Beethoven was so hard of hearing, he thought he was a painter.
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Flowers are one of the few things we buy, bring home, watch die, and we don't ask for our money back.
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Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
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I was a hip kid. When I saw Bambi it was the midnight show.
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You never see a smiling runner.
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Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.
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So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
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All music is the blues. All of it.
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My father? My father left when I was quite young. Well actually, he was asked to leave. He had trouble metabolizing alcohol.
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A lot of times when they catch a guy who killed twenty-seven people, they say, He was a loner. Well, of course he was a loner he killed everyone he came in contact with.
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First I was a mimic. Practically from the moment I began talking, I did impersonations of the people in my neighborhood - the storekeepers, the policemen, my teachers.
George Carlin
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Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
George Carlin
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My left descending septal branch artery decided to close without consultation with any of my other organs. It happened on Saint Patrick's Day, 1978.
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In baseball the object is to go home! And to be safe! - I hope I'll be safe at home!
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If this is the best God can do, I'm not impressed.
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It was the typical paranoid experience [to hide coke]. As soon as I knew my hiding place, I thought the whole world knew it. I'd write clues to my hiding places in code, then forget the code and spend the rest of the day looking for my coke.
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