Quote

I should think it takes a fairly low intellect to draw pleasure from the following activity: hitting a ball with a crooked stick. and then walking after it! An then ..hitting it again!

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Following
Humorous
Activity
Ball
Walking
Sticks
Takes
Draw
Pleasure
Intellect
Crooked
Think
Balls
Fairly
Thinking
Lows
Hitting
Draws
Stick

More quotes by George Carlin

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Most of the time people feel okay. Probably it's because at the moment they're not actually dying.
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The whole problem with this idea of obscenity and indecency, and all of these things - bad language and whatever - it's all caused by one basic thing, and that is: religious superstition.
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I sort of gave up on this whole human adventure a long time ago, divorced myself from it emotionally. It gives me an artistic detachment that I find valuable. I think the human race has squandered its gift, and I think this country has squandered its promise, for the sake of cell phones and Jet Skis.
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Why do they bother saying raw sewage? Do some people actually cook that stuff?
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If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…does that mean that 1 enjoys it?
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There's a thrill when you steal something in plain view of other people. When you drop a newspaper over a sign and walk away with it, or take something off a wall and the sound of the glue ripping makes people turn around. Your heart is racing, it's a rush.
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When I hear a person talking about political solutions, I know I am not listening to a serious person.
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If this is the best God can do, I'm not impressed.
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But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
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People who own everything know how to relax a little and bend and exhale once in a while, but they're not going to let it get out of control.
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Being a Dodgers fan led to my first Air Force court-martial, but that's another story.
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It's a keep your fingers crossed business, the entertainment business.
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If all our national holidays were observed on Wednesdays, we could wind up with nine-day weekends.
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Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
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When I first heard the song Don't worry - be happy I realized it was exactly the kind of mindless philosophy that Americans would respond to. It would make a great national anthem along with Me first.
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And speaking of sex, the Immaculate Conception does not mean Jesus was conceived in the absence of sex. It means Mary was conceived without Original Sin. That's all it has ever meant. And according to the tabloids, Mary is apparently the only one who can make such a claim. The Jesus thing is called virgin birth.
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By the age of six or seven, I was already doing voices and faces, making my friends and my mother laugh.
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The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
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How can it be a spy satellite if they announce on television that it's a spy satellite?
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In the doggie dictionary, under bow wow it says, See arf arf.
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