Quote

I should think it takes a fairly low intellect to draw pleasure from the following activity: hitting a ball with a crooked stick. and then walking after it! An then ..hitting it again!

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Pleasure
Intellect
Crooked
Think
Balls
Fairly
Thinking
Lows
Hitting
Draws
Stick
Following
Humorous
Activity
Ball
Walking
Sticks
Takes
Draw

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I hope I'm beginning a new cycle of energy and creativity. If so, it'll really be my third career. The first was as a straight comic in the Sixties. The second was as a counterculture performer in the Seventies. The third will be...well, that's for others to judge.
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Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
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I just try to find targets I feel something about and express it my way.
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There's this man who lives in the sky, and he has ten things he doesn't want you to do, and you'll burn for a long time if you do them. But he loves you.
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Suppose I could shoot myself in the mouth, but what if I miss? People will laugh at me.
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And, of course, the funniest food: kumquats. I don't even bring them home anymore. I sit there laughing and they go to waste.
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The Human Species could have been great but instead we became satisfied with lights on our tennis shoes.
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Personally, emotionally, I'd rather divorce myself from the world than face the heartbreak of partial success. Because partial success implies overwhelming failure.
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One of the more pretentious political self-descriptions is 'Libertarian.' People think it puts them above the fray. It sounds fashionable, and to the uninitiated, faintly dangerous. Actually, it's just one more bullshit political philosophy.
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The good lord tripped me up behind the line of scrimmage.
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I used to be Irish Catholic. Now I'm an American - you know, you grow.
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If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…does that mean that 1 enjoys it?
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If a movie is described as a romantic comedy, you can usually find me next door playing pinball.
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Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.
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Every time you use the phrase all my life it has a different meaning.
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How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies.
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By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
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